Terrorism On American Roads
b'I am sitting here in my big, manly, comfortable black leather poppa chair, still shaking from an encounter with thousands of home grown idiot terrorists driving their cars. And it reminds me of something Big Louie said in my book Staying Happy Healthy And Hot. Louie said, "Statistics show the 10% of automobile accidents are caused by driving drunk. That means 90% of automobile accidents are caused by stone cold sober idiot terrorist drivers." \\n\\tLouie has lots of helpful comments like that. "Never order pea soup from a waiter who really likes puns" he says. And "Everything you see in today\'s politics is probably just an hallucination from breathing oxygen." Of course he also claims that rocks are like some ladies. They\'re soft but they tense up when you touch them. But his best comments are about those of us who are members of the Louie Louie Generation. For example, "If you have any moving parts left, for crying out loud move \'em." \\n\\tBig Louie can\'t restore our youth, but he can restore our sense of humor. My Lady Wonder Wench says she loves my sense of humor, but she doesn\'t want it to get any worse.'