National Breast Awareness Month
b'Some of you have been listening to these podcasts for a while, so you will have some understanding of the testosterone tsunami that shook me today. This is no kidding. I saw a sign outside a medical building today that said..."This is National Breast Awareness month." My Lady Wonder Wench was driving, and in an instant I understood that old psychological precept: "Your unconscious mind is much faster than your conscious mind." My big mouth was connected to my unconscious mind at the time and it let out some kind of noise that sounded like "YYEEEHHHAAA STOP." My conscious mind would have shut my big mouth. My unconscious mind was faster. And it was really no competition. When I yelled, "Stop." My Lady Wonder Wench hit the brakes, the tires shrieked and smoked, our heads just missed the windshield and the cars behind us blew a car horn symphony. \\n\\tIt was clearly time for confession. But when I explained that I just needed her to take my picture in front of that sign that said it was National Breast Awareness month, she did a 360 degree eye roll right out loud, said something she knew wasn\'t true about my mother and father\'s marital status when I was born, hit the gas and drove us home in what might best be described as a vast, fast, frozen silence. That\'s frozen cold...as in distant. Very distant. \\n\\tI have never understood how even women like Lady Wonder Wench who are blessed with a good sense of humor can\'t understand the kind of pictures guys get in our minds when we see a sign that says this is National Breast Awareness month. It\'s like fart jokes. Ladies don\'t think fart jokes are funny either. After decades of research I\'ve finally developed a fart joke that makes my Lady laugh no matter how hard she tries not to. I just look her in the eye and very quickly I say, "Fart, fart, fart." It works every time. Try it on your lady.'