Ms. Medical Midnight
b'It\'s pretty neat to be sitting here in my big, comfortable, manly, black leather poppa chair again. I was sitting in a hospital bed for a couple of days this week. Don\'t worry. It was just kind of a glorified tummy ache. They said, "You\'re suffering from acid reflux." Right. Of course I was suffering from it, what else was I supposed to do with it. I didn\'t want to go to the hospital, but I went when my Lady Wonder Wench mentioned that my breathing was coming in short pants, and she rather emphatically pointed out it was supposed to be coming from my lungs. Actually... I was really hurting. But like most Louie Louie Generation guys, unless we are in an actual coma, have a hole about the size of a basketball in our chests and we\'re out of blood, we don\'t want anything to do with hospitals. One reason is we know a hospital bed is like a parked taxi with the meter running. Especially when you\'re in the expensive care unit. That\'s where they keep the pay bed pans. Another thing\\u2026you\'ve really got to guard your rear end while you\'re walking around in one of those hospital gowns, because you\'re in enema country. But if you can keep your sense of humor in a hospital, you can see some funny thing. For example, there was a button on the bed with a sign that said, "Push button for nurse." I kept thinking, "Wow, that\'s better than the dating web-sites. Just push the button and a nurse shows up. A little like rub the magic lamp for the genie." Gotta be nice to the nurses because they call the shots.'