Mr. Wonderful
b'I am convinced that somewhere near here there is a dedicated group of women who call themselves the Fed Up Females Federation of America. And I am sure that it is that group which is responsible for the doll by the name of Mr. Wonderful. Mr. Wonderful is sitting right here on my lap in my big, manly, comfortable black leather poppa chair in my living room right now. He\'s about 5 inches tall, and he weighs around 6 ounces. He has wavy brown hair, and a big happy-wappy smile. He looks a little like my dentist when he says, "This will just feel like a little pinch," as he hides a foot long needle behind his back preparatory to digging a root canal into my quivering gum. \\n\\tWhen you push a button Mr. Wonderful says things like "Here, you take the remote. As long as I\'m with you I don\'t care what we watch." And, "Why don\'t you relax and let me make dinner tonight." \\n\\tMy buddy Randy\'s wife Bernadette, got Mr. Wonderful from a friend of hers\\u2026probably the president of The Fed Up Females Federation of America. Bernadette and My Lady Wonder Wench are good friends. So the ladies evidently thought that Randy and I could perhaps take some hints from Mr. Wonderful. \\n\\tRandy is a pretty steady guy, but he\'s a big Phillies fan and I follow the Mets rather regularly, so both of us got a little nervous and teary eyed when Mr. Wonderful said, "The ball game isn\'t that important. I\'d rather spend time with you." And you should have seen the contented smile on both the ladies faces when Mr. Wonderful said, "Let\'s just cuddle tonight." \\n\\tAs I have explained in my book, Staying Happy Healthy And Hot, like most Louie Louie Lads, I must admit that I am a man with decades of experience in not having a clue as to what women are thinking. For example, I have never understood why women\'s magazines keep telling us in big red letters on the cover that all women want sex. Oh yeah? If that is the case, then why don\'t those women tell us that in person?'