Lights Out
b'I was sitting here in my big, manly, comfortable, black leather poppa chair in my living room the other night, watching a movie called Tootsie, starring Dustin Hoffman on TV, and I couldn\'t resist telling my Lady Wonder Wench that Dustin\'s agent must have called him after he auditioned for the part, and said, "Dustin, you got the Tootsie Roll." Immediately\\u2026as soon as I said that, there was a clap of thunder, and the lights and the TV went out. It was like God was looking down at me and saying, "I didn\'t give you the gift of language for you to abuse it by telling jokes that bad, so Zap...here\'\'s a power failure\\u2026have a nice day." I hate it when God shows off like that. Thunder and lightning. That\'s scary stuff, even for brave and manly Louie Louie Generation guys like me. Can you imagine how scary it must be for Pimple People with all their metal piercings. Some of those guys have enough metal stuck in various private places to build a multi engine car. Zap. Thunder. Lightning. I\'ll bet that\'s where some of them got the idea for those wild hair cuts. It\'s gotta be like sticking a wet toe in a hot socket.'