Handprints On The Carpet
b"The guy on the cover of the magazine is young. He looks like he forgot to shave for a couple of days before the photo shoot. More than likely, he holds several scoring records, many of which are not in recognized sports. He likely has women he doesn't even know running around his house in high spiked heels, doing floor exercises while wearing sweat pants from Victoria's Secret, and arguing with each other over who gets to give him a back rub with her carefully manicured nine inch fingernails when he gets home. But I'm better off, because of the fingerprints on the carpet."