Cabin Fever
b'I don\'t believe this headline. "Cabin Fever" it says. It says the tough winter is keeping people home! Oh no! This terrible weather is making me stay in a nice warm place, where I can scratch any where there\'s a itch, where there\'s a refrigerator stuffed with cherry vanilla ice cream and various adult beverages, where there\'s a beautiful woman who smiles at me, and stretches out on the couch wearing just her pink bathrobe and fuzzy slippers, and a towel wrapped around her freshly shampooed hair. Oh no! I have to get up out of my big, manly, comfortable, black leather poppa chair to put another pine log on the fire to keep it crackling and hissing pine perfume out into the air. How terrible.'