Big Bikini Bust
b'"If you obey all the rules, you will miss an awful lot of the fun." That\'s one of Big Louie\'s best observations. I am sitting here in my big, comfortable, manly, black leather poppa chair in my living room...in shock. To say nothing of dismay. I have just learned that the Miss Universe Pageant has eliminated the bathing suit competition in an embarrassing nod to political correctness. It\'s their new rules. Listen people. Pay attention to Big Louie when he says "If you obey all the rules you will miss an awful lot of the fun." I consider this to be a terrible sneak attack on love itself. \\n\\tHere\'s what I mean. "If love is blind how come bikinis are so popular." What\'s next? Streakers beware?. After all, this may mean your end is in sight...so to speak...streakers. Why are they doing this to us. By us, I mean Louie Louie Generation gentlemen. When a woman wearing even the tiniest string bikini walks down the beach, a Louie Louie generation guy watches only the parts of her that are more or less covered. What is the problem with these Miss Universe people? Don\'t they understand that a bikini is a little like a barbed wire fence? Look at it this way, a barbed wire fence and a bikini both protect the property without obstructing the view. Some of those women are visual candy stores. But these Miss Universe people want to put us all on a starvation diet.'