#256 Esther Perel: Relationships and How They Shape Us (Re-Release)

Published: April 9, 2022, 11 p.m.

This is the third in a series of re-released episodes from the\xa0Feel Better Live More\xa0archives. In this conversation, I speak to arguably one of the world\u2019s leading and most original thinkers on modern relationships, the wonderful, Esther Perel, who has long been on my dream guest list.\n\xa0\nWe talk about the many differences between relationships of the past and the relationships of now. How we are now all under pressure not only to have the perfect relationship, but also to portray this illusion to others as well.\n\xa0\nEsther believes that it\u2019s the quality of our relationships that determines the quality of our lives. And who we are is actually a combination of how we see ourselves and how others see us. We only really get to know ourselves through our interactions with others.\n\xa0\nWe talk about the idea that we are not one person but different with each person \u2013 and rather than being one-way, all interactions are reciprocal. We discuss the value of couples\u2019 counselling and whether it\u2019s something all relationships, healthy or otherwise, need. Reassuringly, we learn that there\u2019s no such thing as a perfect relationship, they all follow a rhythm of harmony, disharmony and repair.\n\xa0\nEsther and I touch and expand on our own situations and how the family history and values you bring to a relationship or marriage impacts the dynamic between you. She talks us through how much the concept of marriage has changed over the past century, and how it\u2019s a tall order to ask just one person in our lives to meet all of our needs \u2013 needs which once would have been shared across our extended families and communities.\nThis episode is a joyous celebration of all the relationships in our lives. It\u2019s challenging, poignant but ultimately hugely practical. Esther offers some wonderful examples of practices we can all start implementing today, from rituals to build strength in our intimate relationships, to advice on reframing criticism or starting difficult conversations at work. The upshot? Rather than hoping others will change, we can be the change ourselves.\nIt was a great pleasure to speak with such an incredible lady and I know that you will get a lot of value from hearing what she has to say.\nThanks to our sponsors:\nhttps://www.leafyard.com/livemore\nhttps://www.athleticgreens.com/livemore\nOrder Dr Chatterjee's new book\xa0Happy Mind, Happy Life:\nUK version\xa0https://amzn.to/304opgJ\nUS & Canada version\xa0https://amzn.to/3DRxjgp\xa0\nShow notes available at\xa0https://drchatterjee.com/256\nSupport the podcast and enjoy Ad-Free episodes. Try FREE for 7 days on Apple Podcasts\xa0https://apple.co/3oAKmxi. For other podcast platforms go to\xa0https://fblm.supercast.com.\nDISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast and on this webpage is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or qualified health care provider with any questions you have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.\n Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.