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BranDon (@Pro_Duecer) and Marc Fellhauer (@MarcFell) are here today!Coronavirus shuts down sports & schools & Tom Hanks, Harvey Weinstein fakes another illness, a talk with Jonah Falcon about COVID-19 in NYC, Corey Feldman's movie premier disaster and Maz tells us how to do a sports show without any sports.BranDon brought crust-less Pop Tarts to show how they are much more enjoyable.Coronavirus Mania: Utah Jazz All-Star Rudy Gobert tested positive for Coronavirus & the NBA is now suspended until further notice. He was just at LCA this past Saturday causing players and others to self quarantine. Tom Hanks & his wife Rita Wilson have the Coronavirus. Their shirtless son Chet Haze is their official spokesman.The NCAA finally cancelled all winter and spring sports.Harvey Weinstein is back in the hospital taking up a bed that could be used for a COVID-19 patient.Kate Beckinsale checked in on Harvey Weinstein to share a story about Harvey being a dick instead of using one.Breaking CBNN: There's speculation that Trudi has Coronavirus. Rudy Gobert released a statement apologizing to the people he endangered by spreading his Coronavirus all over the court. Disneyland is closed, but Disney World is holding strong.BranDon raided Drew's 7-11 for it's entire supply of toilet paper.Duke & Kansas cancelled themselves from March Madness before the NCAA was able to react.We call Maz to find out how he's doing & see if he's prepared for the Coronavirus.Ohio is shutting down schools & banning gatherings of 100 people or more because it's apparently easier to get Coronavirus in Ohio than New York, California or Washington.Mark Cuban is looking to help hourly workers in his arena who are out of a job after the NBA's decision to suspend the current season.President Trump enacted a travel ban during a sleepy Oval Office address to the country.An enterprising young kid was selling squirts of hand sanitizer to fellow students at school before 'the man' came in & shut him down.Joe Biden & Bernie Sanders made statements about how to deal with the Coronavirus & Biden's plan involves FEMA building emergency hospitals.AT&T is going to stop throttling your data as a gesture of goodwill during the preeminent pandemic. Pornhub is helping to make the Italian quarantine easier by providing the entire country with premium to keep them busy.Cardi B is scared of the Coronavirus & considering moving to Antarctica.We talk to New York resident and owner of a 13" penis Jonah Falcon to find out how the Coronavirus is affecting life in the city & see if he'll stop enveloping doorknobs during these trying times.A third case of Coronavirus has been confirmed in Michigan.We leave a voicemail with Andy Dick to notify him about the Coronavirus & wish him well.Chelsea Manning attempted suicide while in prison, failed & has now been released by order of a judge.BranDon tries to rewrite history by stacking the Boner Line with the 30% of people from our Twitter poll that heard of the Thunderstruck drinking game. Call/text (209)-66-BONER if you're part of the 70% that have no idea what he's talking about.The XFL is not eXtreme enough to deal with the Coronavirus & is suspending operations indefinitely. Thankfully John McCain didn't have to see Sarah Palin lip syncing to Baby Got Back on The Masked Singer.Take Your Poo to the Loo is India's new hit tune that doubles as a PSA informing citizens that they need to crap in the toilet.Corey Feldman is the most high-maintenance filmmaker in the history of films & he did not disappoint during his live PPV My Truth: The Rape of Two Corey's which was highly disappointing.The head of UM regent, Ron Weiser, has come forward to say he too was sexually assaulted by Dr. Anderson.The US conducted airstrikes against Iranian militia sites in Iraq.