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To be human is to have conflict with other people. You cannot avoid it. Conflict can cause stress, as well as a host of other consequences, such as loss of sleep and even physical illness. But if you've had a difficult relationship, you come to realise that just ignoring it is often not the best way to handle it. So how can conflict be a means to growth and getting closer to others rather than being driven further apart? Is that even a possiblity for the difficult relationship in your own life?
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\nOn this podcast I have the privilege of talking to Linda Outka about her book, "Pebbles In My Shoe- Three Steps For Breaking Through Interpersonal Conflict."
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\nThe 4 minute video below gives a flavour of why this is such an important subject for all of us.
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\nhttps://youtu.be/GUQngR4WqF0
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\nLinda Outka is a certified coach, speaker and trainer. She has over 20 years experience in helping people resolve conflicts. She is also the founder of Breakthrough Solutions Inc, which creates a space \xa0where people can feel safe to be real and discover new insights that open doors to their potential.
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\nDo join Linda and I as we discuss:
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\n\tHow relational hurts are like pebbles in our shoes
\n\tHow strained relationships, failed conversations and unresolved conflicts drain our energy and sabotage our success.
\n\tWhy trying to just ignore the conflict does not mean it necessarily will go away.
\n\tThe metaphor of mountain climbing as a simple model for dealing with conflict.
\n\tWhat it means to move from basecamp (the preparation) to ascent (the conversation) and reach the summit (the gratification of a more fulfilled relationship).
\n\tThe importance of preparing both your heart and you mind for dealing with that difficult conversation.
\n\tWhat is at stake by not resolving the conflict?
\n\tDistinguishing between fact and story in the conflict. Or as Linda likes to say, "When someone spits on you, they don't make you mad, but they do make you wet!"
\n\tHow at the root of every conflict is the assumption of negative intention. But what the other person did made sense to them.
\n\tAcknowledging the role I may have played in the conflict situation and why that is so important in order to move forward.
\n\tAccepting it may not always be possible to satisfactorily resolve the conflict if the other person does not want to engage.
\n\tHow to keep defences low so as to have a productive non-blame conversation.
\n\tExamples from Linda's 20 years' experience in working with a large variety of conflict situations and much more.....
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\nFor more on Linda Outka and her work see here.
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\nYou may also find of interest Podcast #022: The Stories We Tell Ourselves and the blog post Is It Really That Person's Fault They Are Irritating You So Much?
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\nWhat questions, thoughts and comments does the issue of conflict raise for you?
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\nTo find out more you can also order the book from the link below.
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