Published: Sept. 2, 2021, 8 a.m.
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Love.
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Just what is it?
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And why is it something that many people want to have or experience?
Plenty of books and movies portray love as a romantic ideal; however, love is actually more complex than that. There are many aspects to this phenomenon\\u2014psychological and philosophical theories\\u2014but having all this knowledge doesn\\u2019t automatically mean you will be able to find the right person for you and achieve \\u201chappily ever after\\u201d.
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There is one more factor we need to consider: our own personal beliefs about what love is or isn\\u2019t supposed to be. These stories we tell ourselves tend to influence our experiences which then leads to problems when it comes to forming relationships.
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In this episode, in the first of a two-part session, I have taken a special outtake of my Clubhouse session on the neuroscience of love, relationships, and heartbreak. Hope you enjoy!
Key Takeaways:
- Robert Sternberg\'s triangular theory of love and how the 3 components of love generate 8 possible kinds of love
- The 8 different types of love according to the ancient Greeks
- John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth\\u2019s attachment theory
- On the self-limiting belief that one is either the victim or the villain of circumstance
- How the principle of scarcity is related to the saying \\u201cnice people finish last\\u201d
- On the problematic belief that a significant other is either property or an \\u201cother half\\u201d
Quotes:
- \\u201cMake sure that you and your beloved are on the same page.\\u201d
- \\u201cOnce you\\u2019re aware of what kind of (attachment) style you have, it\\u2019s then up to you to do what you can to start to work on that.\\u201d
- \\u201cUnderstanding more about yourself is a tool that allows you to be able to accept some aspects, but you can always improve.\\u201d
- \\u201cWhen it comes to love, we can be our own worst enemies in many ways.\\u201d
- \\u201cLove is something that you work on.\\u201d
- \\u201cYou need to look at your love narrative. What are the kinds of beliefs that you have?\\u201d
Resources:
Subscribe to the Changing Minds Podcast!
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