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b"You are exploring the Underground Kingdom, a place of incredible sights, magical creatures, and inexplicable feelings of warmth. Off-camera, you have probably done some drugs, some very good drugs. Will you trick an angel-eyed bird into committing infanticide? Will you trick two native tribes into brutally murdering each other? Why are you always ruining things? Why can't you, for once, just be cool?\\nContact us by email at boozeyourownadventure@gmail.com"