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b"You've been transported to the mystical realm of 1980s text-based computer games! Which is to say, a fantasy kingdom where a couple of children with an inexplicable penchant for stumbling upon plot-relevant doodads are the only hope against a malevolent shrimp tyrant. Will you seize victory over a basement hobo with your sword of lasciviousness? Will you build a hot air balloon out of, like, a tunic and some rocks? Will you find the fabled trove of dadmags? Grab your battery-powered lantern, because you are likely to be eaten by a grue.\\nContact us by email at boozeyourownadventure@gmail.com"