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b"You're the most furious child homeowner in the world. Your great-grandfather isn't getting credit for discovering the island that there's no evidence he discovered, and you're more than prepared to get murdered over this outrage. Can you contain your patronizing bemusement at other cultures long enough to become the world's greatest art thief (that is, for one month)? Time to find out.\\nContact us by email at boozeyourownadventure@gmail.com"