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b"You are strolling along the beach when you see a beached whale, and decide it is a purple cheerleading hippopotamus. Helpfully, you begin feeding it sticks in hopes that it will take you to space. Since you're too sickly and off-putting to bond with other children, Gorga here might be the only shot at friendship you'll ever have. Don't screw it up!\\nContact us by email at boozeyourownadventure@gmail.com"