Is the new GMSV Silverado really just Holden all over again?

Published: Nov. 11, 2020, 9:38 a.m.

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The phoenix has risen from the ashes of Holden. And its name is \\u2018Silverado\\u2019. The hubris - the sheer, presumptuous audacity - required to pull this one off with conviction \\u2026 it really is \\u2018export grade\\u2019.  

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According to GMSV: \\u201cNorth American trucks are redefining the ute market in Australia and New Zealand.\\u201d  I respectfully disagree. Silverado sales approximate zero at this point. So, absolute redefinition of the segment there from Silverado: Zero.  RAM is of course just like Silverado, only with different hair and makeup, kinda thing. Last year was RAM\\u2019s first full year on sale here: 2868 sales in a 4X4 dual-cab market of 168,869 units.  I struggle to see how a market share of 1.7 per cent for Retardistani trucks could constitute any kind of (quote-unquote) \\u2018redefinition\\u2019 of a segment. These vehicles are, at best, niche. And that\\u2019s all they will ever be here - over-hyped and kind of irrelevant. (It\\u2019s OK to like them - that\\u2019s allowed.)  The Silverado (and RAM) party trick is, of course 4.5 tonnes of alleged tow capacity. This is going to attract some people. It just rolls off the tongue. 4.5 tonnes. (\\u2018I\\u2019m in\\u2019 - as Jeep would say.) In Silverado\\u2019s case this is possible only if you fit a 70mm ball, and limit yourself to 422kg of download.  But this is a vehicle that weighs 2.5 tonnes. (It\\u2019s actually 200 kilos lighter than a Landcruiser 200 Sahara.) If you think it\\u2019s a good idea to tow a 4.5-tonne trailer with a vehicle such as this, I would submit that you are functionally insane, or staggeringly out of touch.   Trailers with centralised axle groups - like, single, tandem or triple-axle pig trailers - are fundamentally unstable in yaw and pitch. I\\u2019m talking caravans, boats, horse floats and campers. They rely on the underlying stability of the towing vehicle to remain stable in yaw and pitch. And it\\u2019s kind of important that they do stay controlled.  So, when the pig is 4.5 tonnes (which is nearly 80 per cent heavier than the Silverado) it\\u2019s very easy for the pig to nudge the vehicle around, at highway speeds, and the \\u2018tail\\u2019 thus it wags the \\u2018dog\\u2019. And I do mean \\u2018dog\\u2019. Catastrophically. Especially in yaw. This is fundamentally unsafe.  Thankfully the 4.5-tonne tow limit in Silverado is largely bullshit. In practise. See, gross combination mass for Silverado is 7160 kilos. (I\\u2019m getting this from their website.) Take away 4500 for the heaviest trailer and 2540 kilos for the kerb mass and you\\u2019re left with just 120 kilos for total payload. (That\\u2019s when you\\u2019re towing 4.5 tonnes.) I know some caravanners who would overload the vehicle, just by climbing aboard.  Certainly it\\u2019s not a \\u2018his & hers\\u2019 proposition. In the immortal words of renowned social philosopher Bonn Scott: \\u201cAin\\u2019t no fairy story. Ain\\u2019t no skin and bones. But you give it all you got, weighin\\u2019 in at 19 stone.\\u201d That\\u2019s from the insulin resistant caravan owner\\u2019s national anthem, 1977. From the double platinum album - Takin\\u2019 a dump \\u2018out there\\u2019.  Do consider all this before spending, like, $140,000 on a Silverado

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