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The Feral Chamber of Automotive Industries - the Coca-Cola of anti-consumer lobby groups in Cannnnnnnnnnnn-bruh, which specialises in championing the car industry\u2019s grubbier objectives in front of those fact-resistant politicians, is seeking a director of evil policy and underhanded advocacy. I could do that. So could you. Piece of piss mate. \u2018Straya!  You just know an organisation is getting a bit top-heavy when it needs one of those policy and advocacy directors. Policy Dude for the Galactic Empire looks quite good on Linkedin. I know this because I changed my profile to reflect that, this morning, in anticipation of actually getting the gig.  It would be the chance to work with people who you find invariably entertaining and interesting - and you can\u2019t say that about every job. I\u2019m looking at you, chicken processing plant.  You should apply too. Like, let\u2019s make this a fair fight. (Getting the gig.) Properly Darwinian. Gloves off. Seconds out. No holds barred. However, in truth, I fear Ronald McDonald could do this job.   It\u2019s all fairly predictable stuff, attribute-wise.  \u201c...dynamic self starter\u201d (like, hey, I got up at the crack of 11, on a Friday morning. Without a cattle prod.) \u2026 \u201ccapable of influencing policy direction at the highest level\u201d (shit, yeah) \u2026 \u201crecognised expertise in the important areas of government relations and policy influencing\u201d \u2026 (Look, if you know how to pay for the long lunches and the \u2026 let\u2019s call them \u2026 personal assistants, what else is there? It\u2019s just basic lobbying stuff.)  \u201cMentors and develops subordinate staff\u201d \u2026 very important to inculcate a small, faithful clutch of unquestioningly loyal underlings who are dead keen to get ahead but also just dumb enough to believe in you \u2026 like, Goldilocks dumb - especially if you\u2019re working in the kind of cesspit where some lackey might need to go under the bus at short notice. It\u2019s always better if you can sell it to them, and they go willingly. \u2018This is a real opportunity for you,\u2019 kind of thing. (This happens a lot in TV.)  \u201cSerious contenders.\u201d (Easter Island face, on the job, mate. That\u2019s me, clearly.) \u201cCapacity to work autonomously.\u201d (It\u2019s 2020 - don\u2019t we all?) \u201cAND under the broad direction of the CEO.\u201d Hmmmmmmm - I think that\u2019s currently the boss of Toyota. It\u2019s hard to keep up. That revolving door.   Anyway, he loves me, (the CEO) especially after that piece I did alerting Toyota to the problem they were having with their 2.8 diesels all seemingly going poopy in their trousers so prolifically, nationwide.   I think the Galactic Emperor really appreciated the deeply respectful \u2018heads-up\u2019, from me, on that. It\u2019d be great for he and I to work closely again like that. I\u2019d love it. Just like Fred Astair and Ginger Rogers, only (of course) I get to be Fred, and he can be the one doing everything backwards, wearing heels.