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As disgusting as this may sound Reg has been caught red handed watching the third channel. ITV! Not the BBC, the Queen’s television service, but the network channel. Archie is disgusted. He is also confused by the idea of a show in which Anton du Deke, or is it Ant and Dec, imprisons people in a jungle and then spies on them. That can’t be right, can it?

In other news Reg has decided he fancies himself as a Poet. Is there something more sinister here? Is he becoming one of those Lavender Boys?

And finally Archie and Reg hear from a man who, beyond any shadow of a doubt, has sex with dogs.