19 Nocturne Boulevard - Jack. In the Box. - Reissue
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[transcript below]
Reissue episode of the week!
Jack.\\xa0 In the Box.
Shortly after WWII, a crate full of parts appears on a young divorcee\'s doorstep.\\xa0 Can she and her young son figure out what it is and what it\'s for? ...And how will this affect the fate of the world?.
Cast List
Jack/Unit X-14 - Greg Porter
Trudy Garfunkel - Julie Hoverson
Timmy Garfunkel - Reynaud LeBoeuf
Mrs. MacGruder - Marge Lutton
Susan - Melinda Mains
Col. Chutney - Richard Haviland
Mockam - Cole Hornaday
Pockam - Kim Turner
Additional voices on the radio - Diana Haviland, Joy Jackson, Pat McNally
Music:\\xa0 Kevin MacLeod (Incompetech.com) and Jonathon Roberts (jmtr.com)
Recorded in conjunction with ART (American Radio Theater)
Editing and Sound: \\xa0 Julie Hoverson
Cover Photo:\\xa0 Kalyana Sundaram (courtesy of Stock Xchange.com)
\\xa0
"What kind of a place is it?
Why it\'s an aging bungalow court apartment, can\'t you tell?"
*************************************************************
This was an early comedy romance episode I wrote specifically with A-R-T - American Radio Theater - in mind.\\xa0 This was recorded with A-R-T in Marge\'s dining room.\\xa0 I would like to point out that the title is not "jack-in-the-box" but Jack[period] in the box [period].\\xa0 It\'s a subtle distinction, but it does make it mean something a bit different.
I also want to point out right away that the whole Chinese suspicion subplot was meant to be silly and a clue to how disconnected from reality Mrs. McGruder is, not serious.\\xa0 Keep in mind this was written ten years ago and set in the 1940s.\\xa0 I have nothing but disgust for any frickinh racists who are currently, in real life, harassing people of Asian descent, particularly the elderly.\\xa0
The transcript is on the page here, and you will note that the first couple of "radio shows" heard in the background in this episode are in the main script, but after that, they got too complicated to write in between lines and I moved them to the end so they could be recorded "of a piece".\\xa0 The shows are clear parodies of The Shadow, I love a Mystery, and Flash Gordon.\\xa0 This also marks the first appearance of Tunis the Unstoppable, whom I later used in Bingo the Birthday Clown.
I realized recently that I haven\'t yet included the full text of the opening sequence of 19 Nocturne Boulevard in any of my transcripts.\\xa0 My apologies, and it will follow.\\xa0 It originally started out much longer, but I whittled it down until it was just the right length.
Platinum Death Ray Forever!
********************************************************
19 Nocturne Boulevard Opening
VOICE:\\xa0 \\xa0\\xa019 Nocturne Boulevard
CABBIE:\\xa0 \\xa0\\xa0Nocturne Boulevard?\\xa0 Not far.\\xa0 When you hit Howard, hang a right.\\xa0 Howard meets Philip at a weird kind of angle, then you cross James and Poe.\\xa0 You can\'t miss Nocturne, it\'s just past the Automat.
VOICE:\\xa0 \\xa0\\xa019 Nocturne Boulevard, your address for suspenseful stories of the speculative, strange, and supernatural.\\xa0
[VOICE, or OLIVIA]\\xa0 \\xa0\\xa0Tonight\'s story is [title]
[also might include warning about violence or language here]
OLIVIA:\\xa0 \\xa0\\xa0Yes. \\xa0This is 19 Nocturne Boulevard, won\'t you step inside?\\xa0 What do you mean, what kind of a place is it?\\xa0 Why it\'s a [episode specific location]
*****************************************************
JACK. IN THE BOX.
\\xa0
Cast:
- Trudy Garfunkel (F/30ish), divorcee, single mom
- Timmy Garfunkel (M/10), her son
- MacGruder (F/50ish), landlady
- Colonel Chutney (M/70), retired WWI colonel
- Susan (F/20ish), Trudy\'s co-worker
- Jack (M), a robot
- Mockam (any), an alien
- Pockam (any), another alien
\\xa0
- ON THE RADIO:
- Announcer
- Horse voice
- Ralph
- The Spook
- Thug 1
- Thug 2
- Jake
- Mack
- Frenchy
- Snap Harper
- Amanda Cool
- Tunis the unstoppable
OLIVIA \\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0Did you have any trouble finding it?\\xa0 What do you mean, what kind of a place is it?\\xa0 Why, it\'s a run-down bungalow apartment court, can\'t you tell?\\xa0
SCENE 1.
MUSIC\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 CREEPY SCI FI
AMBIANCE \\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0VERY ALIEN
POCKAM\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 The interview will be conducted in the unit\'s assimilated language.
MOCKAM\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Report, unit X-14.
JACK\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 [very robotic in all scenes with aliens]\\xa0 Report.\\xa0 Earth viability as target for invasion--
MUSIC\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 BREAK
\\xa0
OLIVIA\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Oops.\\xa0 My mistake.\\xa0 Here\'s that bungalow court...
\\xa0
SCENE 2.
MUSIC\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 A BIT OF MELODRAMA - VERY 40s
AMBIANCE\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 OUTSIDE.\\xa0 TRAFFIC NEARBY
SOUND\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 FOOTSTEPS ON GRAVEL.\\xa0 DOOR OPENS SLIGHTLY OFF.
MACGRUDER\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 [slightly off] Trudy?\\xa0 Trudy!
SOUND\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 FOOTSTEPS STOP
TRUDY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 [sigh]\\xa0 Mrs. MacGruder.\\xa0
SOUND\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 FOOTSTEPS SWIVEL IN GRAVEL
TRUDY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 I\'ll have the rent on--
MACGRUDER\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 [slightly off] Oh, no this is ...\\xa0 When?
TRUDY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Friday.\\xa0 Um, what, then?
MACGRUDER\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 [coming on]\\xa0 You got a package!
TRUDY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 What?\\xa0 I didn\'t--
MACGRUDER\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 I was thinking just that.\\xa0 What\'s Trudy Garfunkel doing ordering stuff--?
TRUDY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 I didn\'t!
MACGRUDER\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 On her little government salary, and I knew she-- I mean, you-- wouldn\'t, so then I wondered if maybe it wasn\'t that deadbeat man of yours--
TRUDY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 He\'s not mine- he hasn\'t been for a long time--
MACGRUDER\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 --Might have sent something for the boy, so I figured no harm in letting the movers into your place - I hope you don\'t mind - but I wanted to let you know before you walk in and trip over it or anything.\\xa0
TRUDY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Thank you for the warning.\\xa0
SOUND\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 FOOTSTEPS - BOTH OF THEM
TRUDY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 You don\'t have to--
MACGRUDER\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 I better go come along and make sure, since if I let it into your place and it turned out to be something dangerous, well I\'d never forgive myself.\\xa0 On the other hand, I was just thinking it might just be a vacuum cleaner, so I was just thinking if it was a vacuum cleaner, then I would knock a whole dollar off your rent - each week - if you just let me use it.\\xa0 [gasps]
TRUDY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 The box is that big?\\xa0 I mean big enough for a vacuum?
SOUND\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 FOOTSTEPS STOP
MACGRUDER\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Lands sakes!\\xa0 You just have to get a gander at it!\\xa0 [beat] Well?\\xa0 Open it.
SOUND\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 A COUPLE OF ALMOST HESITANT STEPS ON STONE, THEN KEY IN LOCK
TRUDY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Did the movers say anything when they--?
MACGRUDER\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Say anything?\\xa0 Well, I expect they did, but they didn\'t really seem to speak much English.\\xa0 Didn\'t worry me much though - they were big Italian looking fellers, not Chinese at all.
SOUND\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 KNOB TURNS
TRUDY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Chinese?\\xa0 Why Chinese?
MACGRUDER\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Oh, I heard it on the radio just the other day, about the Chinese.\\xa0 Not sure what they said, but I\'ll tell you, you better check your laundry reaaal good.
TRUDY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 [dubious]\\xa0 All right.
SOUND\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 DOOR OPENS.\\xa0 A COUPLE FOOTSTEPS, THEN PULLED UP SHORT
TRUDY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 [gasps]
MACGRUDER\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Didn\'t I tell you?
TRUDY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 You said a box - I didn\'t expect a crate!\\xa0 How\'d they get it through the door?
MACGRUDER\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Crate. \\xa0Box.\\xa0 I said it was big enough for a vacuum.\\xa0
TRUDY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 [joking] Or some Chinese.
MACGRUDER\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 You think so, too?\\xa0 Well, you better open it now - maybe this is how they plan to invade or do whatever it was the radio was saying about them.\\xa0 I\'ll stay with you while you do it, so that I can run back and call the army if they come popping out of there.
TRUDY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 I really doubt it\'s a box of Chinese people.
MACGRUDER\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 You better check!
SOUND\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 SCRABBLING AT WOOD.\\xa0 TAPPING - SOUNDS PRETTY SOLID.
TRUDY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 I don\'t know how to open it.
MACGRUDER\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Here, I\'ll go and get a hammer.\\xa0 We\'d better get this done quickly!
TRUDY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Yes, I\'d rather have this sorted out before Timmy gets home.
MACGRUDER\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 [going off] Oh, well, that too - I was thinking that "Love of a Generation" will be coming on the radio real soon.
TRUDY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 The radio.\\xa0 Tsch.\\xa0 [almost chuckling]\\xa0 Chinese.
\\xa0
SCENE 3.
MUSIC\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 SPACE
AMBIANCE \\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0SPACE SHIP
MOCKAM\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Status of Earth readiness to hold off an invasion fleet?
JACK\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 The earth is fully prepared to repel all invaders.
POCKAM\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 What?\\xa0 We have seen no evidence--!
MOCKAM\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Explain.
\\xa0
SCENE 4.
MUSIC\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 40s MELODRAMA
SOUND\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 SQUEAK OF NAILS AS CRATE LID IS PRIED OFF
MACGRUDER\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 What is it?
TRUDY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Let me get the lid off before you go jumping in - you don\'t want the nails to get you.\\xa0
MACGRUDER\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 [sniffs]\\xa0 Well, it doesn\'t smell Chinese.
TRUDY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 [takes breath as if to say something, then sighs]\\xa0 No.
SOUND\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 HEAVY LID FALLS TO FLOOR
MACGRUDER\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Well, someone sent you a box of excelsior - sure it wasn\'t your ex husband?\\xa0 He seems the type to be making a big deal out of nothing.
SOUND\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 ROOTING AROUND IN PAPER SHREDS
TRUDY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Every belonging he ever had wouldn\'t fill this darn thing.\\xa0 No, the only time he remembers to send us anything is the occasional model airplane for Timmy\'s birthday - and they\'re always late.
MACGRUDER\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 You\'re better off without him.\\xa0 Just like Ermintrude on Romances of the Great White Way.\\xa0 She dumped a crumb who would--
TRUDY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 I found something!
SOUND\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 METAL CLANG AS SOMETHING IS PULLED OUT OF PAPER SHREDS
MACGRUDER\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Well...\\xa0 It could still be a vacuum cleaner.
TRUDY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Here - set this down somewhere.
MACGRUDER\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Hmph.\\xa0 Well, I can\'t be standing around here all day, and if there\'s nothing more in there but scrap metal--
TRUDY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Aha!\\xa0 Papers!
MACGRUDER\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Instructions?
SOUND \\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0RIFFLE OF MANY PAGES
TRUDY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Um... Maybe.\\xa0 I don\'t think it\'s in English.
MACGRUDER\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Lessee.\\xa0 I knew it!\\xa0 Chinese!
SOUND \\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0TAPS PAPER
\\xa0
SCENE 5.
MUSIC\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 SPACE
AMBIANCE \\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0SPACE SHIP
MOCKAM\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Which country or continent has the largest potential resistance force?
POCKAM\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Who do we capture first, in other words?
JACK\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 [strange stuttering noise] Uh, uh, The main army is not that of any surface nation, but a hidden underground force--
POCKAM \\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0Explain!\\xa0 Underground?
JACK\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 The minions of Tunis the Unstoppable are counted in the millions.
\\xa0
SCENE 6.
MUSIC\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 40s MELODRAMA
SOUND\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 [off] DOOR SLAMS OPEN, FEET RUNNING IN
TIMMY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Hey mom!\\xa0 I\'m starvin--\\xa0
TRUDY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 [absently]\\xa0 Close the door.
SOUND\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 PAGES TURN
TIMMY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Whoa!\\xa0 What in Hi-ho Silver is that?
TRUDY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Huh?\\xa0 [coming out of it]\\xa0 Oh!\\xa0 Young man, I should make you march right back outside and come back in like a civilized human being, and not like a--\\xa0 a--
TIMMY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Bucking bronco?
TRUDY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 No, that was last week. \\xa0Um, a--
TIMMY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Crazy apeman?
TRUDY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Fine.\\xa0 Like a crazy apeman.\\xa0 But I happen to be busy.
TIMMY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 If--
TRUDY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Ask like a--
TOGETHER\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 --civilized human being.
TRUDY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 [swallows a chuckle]
TIMMY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 What is it, then, mom?\\xa0 It looks -- well--?
TRUDY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Honestly, I\'m not sure.\\xa0 Grab yourself an apple in the kitchen, and come and help me find a part that looks like this--
\\xa0
SCENE 7.
MUSIC\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 SPACE
AMBIANCE \\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0SPACE SHIP
POCKAM\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 [worried] Of what nation is this Tunis the unstoppable?\\xa0 Has he no enemies on Earth?
JACK\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 [sounding slightly human] He is the secret master of the world.\\xa0 His armies are legion.
\\xa0
SCENE 8.
MUSIC\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 40s MELODRAMA
SOUND\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 SQUEAKY.\\xa0 METAL PIECES BEING PUT TOGETHER.\\xa0 FINALLY SNAPS IN
TRUDY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 There!\\xa0 [pause, sigh, gasp] Goodness!\\xa0 Look at the time!\\xa0 It\'s nearly dinner!
TIMMY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Ah, bananas!\\xa0 I missed the start of Ralph Richardson, Thug Breaker!
SOUND\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 SCRAMBLE ACROSS THE FLOOR.\\xa0 RADIO TUNING IN
TRUDY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Don\'t wanna keep me company in here while I get set to feed you?
SOUND\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 RADIO CRACKLE, WARMING UP
TIMMY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Oh, c\'mon mom!\\xa0 Ralph just found the smuggler\'s lakeside warehouse, and then they caught him and tied him to a piling and the tide\'s coming in!
SOUND\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 RADIO MUSIC
ANNOUNCER\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 [very tinny] ...that\'s why Alfalfa-bet is your best bet for breakfast.\\xa0 Ask any horse what he likes and he\'ll say--
HORSE VOICE\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Alfalfa-Bet!
ANNOUNCER\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 And now, hear the creaking of the piling?
SOUND\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 PILINGS CREAK
ANNOUNCER\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Hear the lapping of the incoming tide?
SOUND\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 TIDE LAPS
ANNOUNCER\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 But can we still hear Ralph?
RALPH\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 [A couple of manly grunts]
TIMMY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 C\'mon Ralph!\\xa0 You can get loose!
\\xa0
SCENE 9.
MUSIC\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 SPACE
AMBIANCE \\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0SPACE SHIP
MOCKAM\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 [suspicious]\\xa0 We have seen no evidence of this Tunis the unstoppable.
JACK\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 He is said to be an ancient sorcerer, who is capable of hiding his every movement.
POCKAM\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 That\'s ludicrous!\\xa0 Explain this title of Sorcerer!
JACK\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 One who manipulates the ether and the world around him through mental abilities, rather than the use of devices or scientific artifices.
MOCKAM AND POCKAM\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 [gasp]
\\xa0
SCENE 10.
MUSIC\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 40s MELODRAMA
SOUND\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 RADIO BACKGROUND
The SPOOK\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Of course you could not see me, for I have the cloak of ancient darkness to protect myself!
THUG 1\\xa0 \\xa0\\xa0\\xa0Oh no!
THUG 2\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 You said it.\\xa0 He\'s got us.\\xa0 There ain\'t no way out.
SOUND\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 MUSIC SWELLS
SOUND\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 CLICK.\\xa0 RADIO OFF
TIMMY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Well, that\'s a fine how d\'you do!
TRUDY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 It\'s time for bed, and we\'ve nearly finished putting this... thing... together.
TIMMY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 I still say it\'s a robot!\\xa0 Look, arms, legs - everything.
TRUDY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 A robot would look as silly as anyone else without a head.\\xa0 Up, up!
TIMMY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 [moving slowly off] You\'ll look through the shavings again, won\'t you?\\xa0 See if there\'s anything else in the box?
TRUDY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Aye, Aye, captain.\\xa0 Now scoot!
\\xa0
SCENE 11.
MUSIC\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 SPACE
AMBIANCE \\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0SPACE SHIP
MOCKAM\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Is this planet Earth very populated with these... sorcerers?
JACK\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 From my research, they are few but very powerful.
POCKAM\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Bah!\\xa0 Even such as these cannot withstand our platinum death ray!
\\xa0
SCENE 12.
MUSIC\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 40s MELODRAMA
SOUND\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 [off] DOOR SLAMS OPEN, FEET RUNNING DOWN STAIRS
TIMMY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 [off]\\xa0 Mom?\\xa0
SOUND\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 FEET STOP FOR A SECOND, THEN COME ON RAPIDLY
TIMMY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 [panicky, coming on quickly] Mom!\\xa0 Where\'d it go?
SOUND\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 FEET SLIDE ONTO KITCHEN TILES, THEN SKID TO A STOP
TIMMY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 I- I\'m --\\xa0 Whoops!
TRUDY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 [very amused] Timmy, you should join us for breakfast. \\xa0I would like you to meet...\\xa0 [considers] Jack.\\xa0 Jack [searching for a name] Box- Bocscome - Boscome.\\xa0 Jack Boscome.
TIMMY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Sorry to break in like this, sir.\\xa0 Mom.\\xa0 Um, pleased... to meet you?
TRUDY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 [almost laughing]\\xa0 Well, shake his hand!
TIMMY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 [whispered] He\'s not moving - is he OK?
TRUDY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 [finally breaks down and laughs]\\xa0 Jack here?\\xa0 Why he\'s just peachy.\\xa0
SOUND\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 SLAP ON THE BACK.\\xa0
SFX\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 WEIRD MECHANICAL NOISES BEGIN.\\xa0 VERY LOW
TIMMY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 What\'d you do?
TRUDY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 I just - I must have pushed his switch or something.
TIMMY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Oh!\\xa0 He\'s--\\xa0 Oh!\\xa0 He sure looks ... real with a head and all.
SFX\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 WHIRRING, ETC., GETS LOUDER, THEN OUT
JACK\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 [very mechanical sounding]\\xa0 I am unit X-14.\\xa0 I am at your service.
TRUDY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Well, he looks real, but he don\'t sound it.
SOUND\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 [off] KNOCKING AT FRONT DOOR
TRUDY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 [sigh] That will be Mrs. MacGruder, about the vacuum cleaner.\\xa0 Or the Chinese.
TIMMY \\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0What vacuum cleaner? Huh?
JACK\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Explain.\\xa0 What is Chinese.\\xa0
SOUND\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 RAPID FOOTSTEPS
TIMMY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 [fading out under] Oh, Chinese are folks who come from across the ocean and don\'t talk like us, and they cook good food...
TRUDY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 [calling back] Timmy, make sure and keep Jack in the kitchen.\\xa0 I don\'t know WHAT Mrs. MacGruder would make of him.
SOUND\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 DOOR.\\xa0 UNLOCKING CHAIN AND BOLT.\\xa0 DOOR OPENS
MACGRUDER\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 So?\\xa0 Did you -uh - manage to ... uh?
TRUDY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 It\'s just... Well, apparently it\'s Ken\'s idea of a joke.
MACGRUDER\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 I thought you said he wouldn\'t--
TRUDY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 It was all filled with random pieces of metal, and when I got to the bottom, there was a note from him.\\xa0 Tsch.\\xa0 He said it was supposed to be some sort of .... um, furnace... but it didn\'t even have all the pieces.
MACGRUDER\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 [suspicious]\\xa0 Why would he send such a darn fool thing?\\xa0 Your furnace here is fine, isn\'t it?\\xa0 I can always get Bob in to--
TRUDY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 No, no!\\xa0 Um, it was just that... the last time he bothered to stop by, we--we were living in a place with a dicey furnace.
MACGRUDER\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 [after a long moment]\\xa0 Man like that, you\'re better rid of him.
TRUDY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 I\'ll see about selling the bits for scrap or something.\\xa0
MACGRUDER\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Take your time - you can always burn the crate and the shavings.\\xa0 [joking, going off]\\xa0 Save on your furnace worries...
TRUDY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 [agreeing noise]
SOUND\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 DOOR SHUTS QUICKLY BUT NOT QUITE SLAMMED
TRUDY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Whew.\\xa0
SOUND\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 HEAVY FOOTSTEPS APPROACH
JACK\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Explain.\\xa0 What is a "Ken".
\\xa0
SCENE 13.
MUSIC\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 SPACE
AMBIANCE \\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0SPACE SHIP
MOCKAM\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 [sotto] We may need to reconsider the invasion plans.
POCKAM\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 [sotto] I do not agree-
MOCKAM\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 If these sorcerers can withstand our invasion--
POCKAM\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 I think the information unit is faulty.
MOCKAM \\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0That is impossible - the unit must tell the truth.\\xa0 That is its function.
POCKAM\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 It may not know the truth.\\xa0 I say we wait until the other units have been retrieved.
\\xa0
SCENE 14.
MUSIC\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 40s MELODRAMA
SOUND \\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0CLICK - MUSIC CUTS OUT
SFX\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 TUNING IN RADIO
JACK\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Explain.\\xa0 What is--?
TIMMY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Shh.\\xa0 Now this is a really good show.\\xa0 Jake, Mack, and Frenchy are the B-9 detective agency.\\xa0 And they\'re about to go head to head with the crime syndicate.
SFX\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 MUSIC IN BACKGROUND - PARODY OF I LOVE A MYSTERY OPENER - SEE SCRIPT AT END
SOUND \\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0KNOCK ON DOOR
TIMMY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Mom!\\xa0 The door!
JACK\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Mom!
SOUND\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 FOOTSTEPS ON LINO, THEN WOOD.\\xa0 TRUDY BRUSHES HER HANDS TOGETHER
TRUDY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 You two.\\xa0 You should be doing your homework.\\xa0 I let you put it off all weekend--
TIMMY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 But the show! \\xa0Besides, Jack here\'ll help me with it, won\'t you Jack old boy?
JACK\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Explain.\\xa0 What is homework.
SOUND\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 KNOCK ON DOOR AGAIN
TRUDY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Yeah.\\xa0 A big help.
SOUND\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 KNOB, DOOR OPENS A BIT
TRUDY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Yes?\\xa0 Oh!\\xa0 Susan!
SUSAN\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Aha!\\xa0 [chiding] You remember my name!\\xa0
TRUDY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 [realizing] Oh, no...\\xa0 Last night...!
SUSAN\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Are you going to just keep me out here on the doorstep while I read you the riot act for standing me up?\\xa0 You left me high and dry on a Saturday night, with two sailors and only one pair of feet!
TRUDY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 I-- [thinks] Let me take you to the corner coffee shop - to make it up.
SUSAN\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 What?\\xa0 Why?
TRUDY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Um, Timmy isn\'t feeling well, so I really don\'t want to wake him.
TIMMY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 [off, sickly sounding]\\xa0 Mommy?
SUSAN\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 [mollified]\\xa0 So that\'s it.\\xa0 [sigh] You better stay.\\xa0
TIMMY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 [off, coughing]\\xa0
SUSAN\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Kids.\\xa0 I love em, but I\'m not sure I could keep em.\\xa0 You gonna be in to work tomorrow?
TRUDY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 He\'s much better than he was.\\xa0 Just needs rest.
SUSAN\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 OK.\\xa0 But next time - you could at least call!\\xa0 See ya manyana!
TRUDY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Bye!\\xa0 [pause, whew]
SOUND\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 DOOR SHUTS, QUICK FOOTSTEPS
SFX\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 RADIO COMES ON - SCENE PLAYS IN THE B/G
TRUDY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Thank you honey!\\xa0 [hug noise]
TIMMY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 [boy hug reaction]\\xa0 Moooom!\\xa0 The shooow.
JACK\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Explain.\\xa0 What is sick.
TIMMY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Ssh!
TRUDY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 C\'mon Jack, and I\'ll explain.
SOUND \\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0FOOTSTEPS
SFX\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 RADIO RECEDES AGAIN
SOUND\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 FEET ON LINO
TRUDY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Have a seat?
JACK\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 As you instruct.
SOUND\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 SQUEAK OF CHAIR
TRUDY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 [chuckles] You look so darned human, I keep forgetting you\'re a machine.
JACK\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 I am X-14, designated Jack Boscome.
TRUDY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Glad you like the name.
JACK\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Explain.\\xa0 What is Like.
TRUDY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 First sick.\\xa0 Hmm.\\xa0 Well, that\'s a toughee.\\xa0 Humans, like machines, have lots of parts that all work together - and when one of the parts doesn\'t work right - like instead of breathing, you start coughing - that\'s what it means to be sick.
JACK\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Repair seems the obvious answer.\\xa0 Explain.\\xa0
TRUDY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Well, see you might be repairable - like if you broke a spring or something, you could just go in, take out the spring and put in a new one, but it doesn\'t work that way for living things - If one of our parts starts to break, it has to fix itself.
JACK\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Processing.\\xa0 Corollary - Timmy is sick.\\xa0 Which part is broken?
TRUDY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 [ashamed] Well, he\'s not really sick.\\xa0 That was a lie.\\xa0 My friend Susan keeps trying to fix me up with guys, and I -- well, I really just forgot, we were so caught up with having you working and all.
JACK\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Explain.\\xa0 What is lie.
TRUDY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 [rueful] Oh, boy...
\\xa0
SCENE 15.
MUSIC\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 SPACE
AMBIANCE \\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0SPACE SHIP
MOCKAM\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Three more units!
POCKAM\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Three?\\xa0 Nonfunctional?
MOCKAM\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Worse - three more we could not retrieve effectively, so destruct function was activated.
POCKAM\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Only five still functional!\\xa0 When is retrieval?
MOCKAM \\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0It is being done.\\xa0
\\xa0
SCENE 16.
MUSIC\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 40s MELODRAMA
SOUND \\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0POUNDING ON DOOR, FOOTSTEPS, DOOR OPENED QUICKLY
TRUDY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 [breathless] Yes?\\xa0 Mrs. Mac--
MACGRUDER\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 [furious] Don\'t you Mrs. MacGruder me with that innocent look on your face, young lady!
TRUDY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 But--! I--!
MACGRUDER\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 I know you have a man in here.\\xa0 I\'ve seen him through the window.\\xa0 What kind of a place do you think I\'m running here? And you with a child in the house!
TRUDY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Oh, but he\'s--
JACK\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 [slightly off, sounding less robotic]\\xa0 Trudy?\\xa0 Is there a problem?
TRUDY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 [thinking fast] Mrs. MacGruder, this is Jack Boscome.\\xa0 He\'s a-- a [moving closer, whispering]\\xa0 He\'s a vet.\\xa0 Battle fatigued.\\xa0 Our office sent a memo around, asking for people willing to open their homes to these boys.\\xa0 How could I say no?
MACGRUDER\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 [much softened] But it\'s--
TRUDY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 He stays in the living room.\\xa0 On the couch.\\xa0 He\'s really good with Timmy.
TIMMY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 [off]\\xa0 Jack?\\xa0 Hey, ask me that question again.\\xa0 On my homework.
TRUDY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 See?
JACK\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 [off] What is the capitol of Idaho?
MACGRUDER\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 [resigned] You should have told me.
TRUDY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 I wanted to wait and see if it was going to work out first.\\xa0 I didn\'t want anyone to make a fuss right away - he\'s still pretty nervous, you know?
MACGRUDER\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 That\'s why he never leaves the house, eh?
TRUDY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Yup.\\xa0
MACGRUDER\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 All right.\\xa0 All right.\\xa0 No monkey shines, now!
TRUDY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Cross my heart.
SOUND\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 DOOR SHUTS
TRUDY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Whew.
JACK\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 [coming on, sounding just like a robot] Explain?\\xa0 What is battle fatigue?\\xa0 [then softening]\\xa0 I should probably know.
\\xa0
SCENE 17.
MUSIC\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 SPACE
AMBIANCE \\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0SPACE SHIP
MOCKAM\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 They are all disabled.\\xa0 All but the X-14 unit.
POCKAM\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 All?\\xa0 But we landed thirty--
MOCKAM\\xa0 \\xa0\\xa0\\xa0Apparently we both overestimated and underestimated the humans.\\xa0 Twelve were rendered nonfunctional in assembly, six were completed and placed in government hands and had to be destructed, and eight were never even opened.\\xa0
POCKAM\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Records show these beings are much more curious and greedy than that.\\xa0 Wait.\\xa0 What of the other three?
MOCKAM \\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0[almost reluctant] They tried to resist retrieval and were destroyed.
\\xa0
SCENE 18.
MUSIC\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 40s MELODRAMA
SFX\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 SCENE 2 PLAYS ON RADIO IN B/G
[following line about Death-O-tron]
TIMMY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Man, I wish we had a Death-o-tron landship.\\xa0 I wouldn\'t have to walk to school any more.
JACK\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 But you are not afraid?\\xa0 What if Tunis comes here.\\xa0 His landship will crush this house.
TIMMY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 [exasperated sigh] Jack.\\xa0 Tunis is just a story.\\xa0 Did you really think all this stuff on the radio was true?
JACK\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Why would it not be true?\\xa0 Explain.
TIMMY \\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0It\'s ... fun.\\xa0 Like make believe.\\xa0 Everyone makes stuff up - you mean you don\'t have stories where you come from?
JACK\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 I don\'t know where I come from.\\xa0 My memories begin when you assembled me.\\xa0
TIMMY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Oh, hold on [listen to the final part of the scene, then as the announcer comes on].\\xa0 That\'s kind of sad.\\xa0 You\'re sort of just a kid, too.\\xa0 [pause] But you learn real fast.
\\xa0
SCENE 19.
MUSIC\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 SPACE
AMBIANCE \\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0SPACE SHIP
MOCKAM\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 We must assume this data is correct.
POCKAM\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 I would prefer a second opinion.
MOCKAM\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Of course, but we cannot take chances.\\xa0 There is another planet in the Gargon Nebula whose dominant life form hasn\'t yet left the ground. \\xa0They should be easy to conquer and enslave.
POCKAM\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 The Gargon Nebula is light years from here!\\xa0 We should--
MOCKAM \\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0We are under orders.\\xa0 No unnecessary chances.
\\xa0
SCENE 20.
MUSIC\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 40s MELODRAMA
AMBIANCE\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 PARTY - SMALL CROWD.\\xa0 RADIO MUSIC PLAYS IN THE B/G
TRUDY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 [whispered]\\xa0 Just stick to the plan.\\xa0 They all want to meet you.\\xa0 You remember?
JACK\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 I am unable to forget.\\xa0 The plan is if the answer to a question is awkward, I ask them what they like on the radio and let them talk.
TRUDY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Right.\\xa0 Everybody here practically lives for one show or another.\\xa0 You thought Timmy was stuck on his shows- wait until Mrs. MacGruder starts regaling you with the plot from "my fifth husband."\\xa0 Just don\'t go thinking anything they say is real.
JACK\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Timmy explained--
SOUND\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 DOOR OPENS
MACGRUDER\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 [coming on]\\xa0 Trudy!\\xa0 You look lovely.\\xa0 And this must be--
JACK\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Jack Boscome.\\xa0
MACGRUDER\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 I hear you were in the army?
JACK\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 I-- [uncomfortable beat, error noise] uh, uh, would rather talk about you.\\xa0 Do you listen to the radio?
MACGRUDER\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 [fading out] Oh, just occasionally...
BRIEF MUSIC - TIME PASSES - SAME SCENE
SUSAN\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Oh-ho!
TRUDY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 What?
SUSAN\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Nothing.\\xa0 Just Oh-ho.\\xa0 Can\'t a girl Oh-ho a friend without someone thinking maybe she just put all the pieces together and realized why said friend is no longer interested in coming out on Saturday nights?
TRUDY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Jack?\\xa0 Oh, he\'s just--
SUSAN\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Living in your house.\\xa0 Where do I sign up?
TRUDY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Oh, that reminds me - I told Mrs. MacGruder he was a vet, and the office set it up.\\xa0 Don\'t let on, OK?
SUSAN\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Oh-ho!
BRIEF MUSIC - TIME PASSES - SAME SCENE
CHUTNEY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 [coming on] You, boy!
JACK\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Me?\\xa0 I am Jack--
CHUTNEY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 We met earlier, remember?
JACK\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 [almost mechanical sounding]\\xa0 You are Colonel Chutney. \\xa012th mobile.\\xa0 Great War.\\xa0 Medal of--
CHUTNEY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 It isn\'t a test, my boy.\\xa0 Don\'t try so hard.\\xa0 [pause] I wanted you to know that there is someone here who understands your condition and what you\'ve been through.\\xa0
JACK\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Explain?
CHUTNEY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 I\'ve seen a number of cases - of course, we called it shell shock - but it\'s all the same thing.\\xa0 If you ever need to talk to anyone, and don\'t want to disturb the ladies.\\xa0 I\'m just across the court.
JACK\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 [more and more lost and confused] Talk?
CHUTNEY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 About your experiences in the war.\\xa0 Battle fatigue is nothing to sneeze at--
JACK\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Oh!\\xa0 Yes.\\xa0 Yes, sir.
CHUTNEY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 [chuckles, then insinuating]\\xa0 What sort of action did you see?
JACK\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Sir?\\xa0 Do you listen to the radio, sir?
CHUTNEY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Oh, you can\'t trust the radio for intelligence. \\xa0Everything on it is either so covert no one would recognize it or outright fiction.\\xa0 Were you with infantry?
JACK\\xa0\\xa0 \\xa0\\xa0[almost panicking, getting more robotic] Sir?\\xa0 I cannot answer that.
CHUTNEY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 You can\'t shock me, son.\\xa0
JACK\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 [error noise, very bad] uh, uh, uh, I was slugged, and tortured.\\xa0 Tied up while the water came in.\\xa0 Flooded with gas.\\xa0 [drawing from a radio episode from earlier]
CHUTNEY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 [shocked] P-O-W?\\xa0 I am so sorry, my boy.\\xa0 No wonder.\\xa0 I won\'t ask you any more.\\xa0 Just know that I\'m always ready to listen.
\\xa0
SCENE 21.
MUSIC\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 SPACE
AMBIANCE \\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0SPACE SHIP
MOCKAM\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 What shall we do with this unit?
POCKAM\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 X-14?\\xa0 The only logical choice is to vaporize it.\\xa0 Its memory cells are congested with data from this planet.\\xa0 It is easier to assemble a new unit than to refresh this one.
\\xa0
SCENE 22.
MUSIC\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 40s MELODRAMA
AMBIANCE\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 OUTSIDE, NIGHT
SFX\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 SOMEWHERE A RADIO PLAYS ROMANTIC MUSIC
SOUND\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 FOOTSTEPS ON GRAVEL
TRUDY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 You were marvelous.\\xa0 I was so worried when Colonel Chutney buttonholed you like that.
JACK\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 [almost teasing]\\xa0 Explain.\\xa0 What is buttonholed?
TRUDY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 [chuckles fondly]\\xa0 Only three weeks, and you sound like any other guy.\\xa0 And you look so real.\\xa0 I-- It\'s nice having a man around the house, you know.\\xa0 Timmy loves you, and the way you fixed the furnace!
JACK\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Machines make sense.\\xa0 Humans are confusing.\\xa0
TRUDY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Don\'t I know it!\\xa0 I- I confuse myself sometimes.
JACK\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Explain?
TRUDY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 I can\'t.\\xa0 Some things are just inexplicable.\\xa0 Like ... love.
JACK\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Explain?
TRUDY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 I- well... Love is a lot like "like".\\xa0 Just stronger.
JACK\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 A feeling of attachment and a desire to be near the object of the feeling?
TRUDY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 More or less.\\xa0
JACK\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 As an example, you love Timmy?
TRUDY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Yes!
JACK\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 And Timmy loves-- Jake, Mack and Frenchy.
TRUDY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 [chuckling]\\xa0 Yes.
JACK\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Do you think love can be learned?
TRUDY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 I-- Well, I really don\'t know.
JACK\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 If this is a topic you do not wish to discuss, we can talk about radio shows.
TRUDY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 [laughing] No.\\xa0 It\'s just a topic that no one finds easy to discuss.
JACK \\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0I would like to learn more.
MOCKAM\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 [on filter]\\xa0 Unit X-14!\\xa0 Unit X-14!\\xa0 Prepare for imminent retrieval.
JACK\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Did you hear that?
TRUDY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 What?
JACK\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 [sigh, starting to sound more and more robotic] I am a robot.
TRUDY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 I know, but somehow it doesn\'t matter.
JACK\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 I may come to understand feelings such as love, but I cannot feel them.
TRUDY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 You once said you could never lie, and look how that turned out.
JACK\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 I have completed my time with you.\\xa0 [error noise]\\xa0 uh, uh, uh, uh, I have no feelings for this world or its inhabitants.\\xa0 Uh, uh, I will fulfill my mission.
TRUDY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Jack, what\'s wrong?
SOUND\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 FOOTSTEPS ON GRAVEL, AWAY
TRUDY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Jack!
\\xa0
SCENE 23.
MUSIC\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 SPACE
AMBIANCE \\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0SPACE SHIP
JACK\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 [very robotic]\\xa0 I am capable of further use.
POCKAM\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 What?\\xa0 Did you speak out of turn, X-14?
JACK\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Destroying me-- this unit would be a waste of resources.\\xa0 Logic dictates utilizing all capabilities.
POCKAM\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 What did they teach this thing down there?\\xa0 no wonder three units had the self-motivation to destruct themselves.
MOCKAM\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 The unit cites logic.\\xa0 Let it continue.
JACK\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 This unit has assimilated enough to remain out of the hands of government entities, and to blend into society on the planet below.\\xa0
MOCKAM\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 \\xa0True.
JACK\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Continued data gathering is always of use.
MOCKAM\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 One unit is not enough to gather all the data we would need for a full scale attack - not in our projected time frame.
JACK\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 If you go to the Gargon Nebula, this unit can continue to gather information for your return.
MOCKAM\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 It might work, at that.\\xa0
POCKAM\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 But it will be forty of this planet\'s years before we would return from the Gargon Nebula!
\\xa0
SCENE 24.
MUSIC\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 40s MELODRAMA
TRUDY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 [sigh] No, Colonel.\\xa0 He had a -- a bad relapse and had to -- go back to the hospital.
CHUTNEY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 [on phone] Too bad.\\xa0 Good boy, that.\\xa0 When he comes back... well, a divorcee like yourself could do a lot worse.
TRUDY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 [trying not to cry]\\xa0 I-- I know.\\xa0 I have to go, Colonel, there\'s someone at the door.
SOUND\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 AS IF ON CUE, KNOCK ON DOOR
SOUND\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 PHONE HANGS UP
SOUND \\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0RUNNING FEET, DOOR FLUNG OPEN
TIMMY\\xa0 \\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0[off, yelling, happy and excited] Hey mom!\\xa0 It\'s a big wooden box!
TRUDY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 [excited gasp] Huh?
END
****************************************************
RADIO SCENE 1
ANNOUNCER\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 --in the underground caves beneath the tiny mining town.
MUSIC STING
JAKE\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Look, Mack!\\xa0 It\'s Frenchy!
FRENCHY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Ooooh.
MAC\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Well, dip me in honey and roll me in a haystack!\\xa0 He\'s been slugged!
FRENCHY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 [bad french accent] Jake?\\xa0 They took the scrimshaw!\\xa0 I couldn\'t stop them!
JAKE\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 I know, Frenchy.\\xa0 Mack, Check that door - see if it\'s clear. \\xa0We\'ll have to leave Frenchy someplace safe while we go after the Syndicate boys.\\xa0 If they find him, he\'ll be tortured, or worse.
SOUND\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 SHAKING LOCKED DOOR
MACK\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Well boil me fer a rutabaga sandwich, the door won\'t open!
JAKE\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 What\'s that noise?
MACK \\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0Sounds like someone went and left a faucet running.
FRENCHY\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Jake!\\xa0 The floor!\\xa0 It is water!
JAKE\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 So that\'s the plan, is it - they\'ll drown us here like rats!
MUSIC STING
****************************************************
RADIO SCENE 2
SNAP HARPER\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 As long as we have breath, he won\'t rule the world.\\xa0 Are you with me Amanda?
AMANDA COOL\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Anything you say, Snap!
SNAP HARPER\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 If we can just get to the central coolant chamber of his death-o-tron landship, Amanda, I think we might be able to--
TUNIS\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 [on filter] To -- what?\\xa0 Go on Snap Harper, I am -- powerfully interested.
AMANDA COOL\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Tunis the Unstoppable!\\xa0 Snap!\\xa0 He\'s found us, but how?
SNAP HARPER\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 He must have listening devices planted in these service crawlspaces.\\xa0 Blast Tunis\'s cleverness!
TUNIS\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 I would return the compliment, Snap Harper, but it would be pointless.
AMANDA COOL\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 Oh, Snap!
TUNIS\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 For you are about to die!\\xa0 Flood the room with gas!
MUSIC STING
ANNOUNCER\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0 After just a short word from our sponsor, Tunis the Unstopppable will outline his cunning plan for doing in Snap Harper.\\xa0 But first--
--END--
\\xa0
'