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Oz 9
It's Spring 2142 (a Tuesday), and Gated Galaxies has launched its 400 Oz-8000 ships, each carrying 50,000 "resting guests" to, hopefully, a new home on a shiny, brand-new planet. Except this whole "terraform and take over" idea isn't actually the plan; the real plan is far more nefarious and involves a great deal of cackling. But those aboard the ships don't know that, so off they toodle (those that make it out of Earth's atmosphere, at least), all shiny and optimistic. This is the story of one of those ships – the Oz 9 – and its tiny crew of hopeless incompetents. So far, they've been in space half an hour and several hundred people are dead. So... bright future, clearly.Podcasts
episode ninety: Science makes me affectionate
Published: Jan. 2, 2024, 8 a.m.Duration: 27 minutes 54 seconds
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episode eighty-nine: Adorable and very merchandisable
Published: Dec. 17, 2023, 6:16 p.m.Duration: 23 minutes 33 seconds
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Bonus: Take the planet
Published: Nov. 23, 2023, 4:50 p.m.Duration: 23 minutes 57 seconds
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episode eighty-eight: A hairball in your haggis
Published: Nov. 19, 2023, noonDuration: 21 minutes 53 seconds
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episode eighty-seven: Why does the mustard matter?
Published: Nov. 5, 2023, 4:10 p.m.Duration: 25 minutes 16 seconds
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episode eighty-six: Spike the gargling cow
Published: Oct. 1, 2023, 11 a.m.Duration: 27 minutes 34 seconds
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Bonus: Oz 9 Meet the Characters
Published: Sept. 17, 2023, 10:35 p.m.Duration: 51 minutes 13 seconds
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Bonus: Meet Jonathan Pezza of Curious Matter Anthology!
Published: Sept. 10, 2023, 11 a.m.Duration: 1 hour 1 minute 23 seconds
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episode eighty-five: Dirty, greasy oligarchs
Published: Aug. 2, 2023, 5:31 p.m.Duration: 25 minutes 51 seconds
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episode eighty-four: Would it help if I spoke stupid?
Published: July 18, 2023, 6:14 p.m.Duration: 27 minutes 49 seconds
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episode eighty-three: In short, she is baked
Published: June 11, 2023, 8:15 p.m.Duration: 23 minutes 24 seconds
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Bonus: Livestream for the Cure and Oz 9
Published: May 14, 2023, 6:43 p.m.Duration: 3 minutes 29 seconds
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episode eighty-two: Keep your knickers out of the biscuit tin
Published: May 11, 2023, 9:46 p.m.Duration: 30 minutes 1 second
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episode eighty-one: Hangover remedies and really good sunscreen
Published: April 12, 2023, 8:02 p.m.Duration: 23 minutes 30 seconds
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Bonus: That slice of Joe Pye-Weed pie
Published: March 10, 2023, 9:59 p.m.Duration: 14 minutes 59 seconds
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Bonus Discussing Oz 9: Hiatus Episode
Published: Feb. 22, 2023, 2:02 a.m.Duration: 27 minutes 10 seconds
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Bonus: Enough with the toad orgy, Two
Published: Feb. 8, 2023, 11:16 p.m.Duration: 12 minutes 41 seconds
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episode eighty: Oh my giddy aunt
Published: Dec. 31, 2022, 5:30 p.m.Duration: 1 hour 21 seconds
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episode seventy-nine: Sand where no man is making pearls
Published: Oct. 23, 2022, 8:08 p.m.Duration: 25 minutes 20 seconds
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episode seventy-eight: Is anyone else seeing wings?
Published: Sept. 25, 2022, 10:02 p.m.Duration: 30 minutes 21 seconds
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episode seventy-seven: Mind the disco ball
Published: Aug. 28, 2022, 5:37 p.m.Duration: 31 minutes 3 seconds
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episode seventy-six: Covered in goat dung and yodelers
Published: Aug. 14, 2022, 10:21 p.m.Duration: 23 minutes 50 seconds
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episode seventy-five: Mad stories of trampled relatives
Published: July 31, 2022, 10:14 p.m.Duration: 25 minutes 18 seconds
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episode seventy-four: You know where the porn stash is
Published: July 17, 2022, 7:25 p.m.Duration: 23 minutes 24 seconds
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episode seventy-three: Is that a Giant Turnip?
Published: June 30, 2022, 9:46 p.m.Duration: 25 minutes 11 seconds
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episode seventy-two: Cahooty
Published: June 11, 2022, 4:50 p.m.Duration: 29 minutes 29 seconds
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Bonus: Oz 9 Past, present, and (dare we say it) future
Published: June 10, 2022, 5:28 p.m.Duration: 50 minutes 52 seconds
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episode seventy-one: Rumblings in the astral region
Published: April 11, 2022, 1:54 a.m.Duration: 28 minutes 11 seconds
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episode seventy: Do we have any more tuber tots?
Published: March 21, 2022, 3:10 a.m.Duration: 25 minutes 20 seconds
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episode sixty-nine (giggle): Tighter than a Minnesotan Manhole
Published: Feb. 24, 2022, 4:08 a.m.Duration: 26 minutes 8 seconds
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episode sixty-eight: Hold our swamp hooch
Published: Jan. 24, 2022, 5:59 a.m.Duration: 24 minutes 28 seconds
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episode sixty-seven: I haf been tinkering vis my shavink foam
Published: Jan. 6, 2022, 5:23 a.m.Duration: 23 minutes 34 seconds
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episode sixty-six: Feels super bowel-y in here
Published: Dec. 20, 2021, 4:42 a.m.Duration: 25 minutes 41 seconds
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episode sixty-five: Astronauting is a lonely business
Published: Nov. 22, 2021, 12:58 a.m.Duration: 28 minutes 4 seconds
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episode sixty-four: Three rights and a left
Published: Nov. 8, 2021, 5:04 a.m.Duration: 26 minutes 59 seconds
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episode sixty-three: You are a naughty little schatzi
Published: Oct. 24, 2021, 7:07 p.m.Duration: 32 minutes 54 seconds
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episode sixty-two: I sent him a hippotigrus
Published: Oct. 4, 2021, 8:18 a.m.Duration: 28 minutes 45 seconds
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episode sixty-one: The "tilslrte bondepiker" maneuver
Published: Sept. 20, 2021, 4:24 a.m.Duration: 23 minutes 34 seconds
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Bonus: Oz 9 episode X-1
Published: Sept. 12, 2021, 8:05 p.m.Duration: 23 minutes 13 seconds
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Bonus: Oz 9 chat, part deux
Published: Aug. 29, 2021, 11 a.m.Duration: 1 hour 24 minutes 58 seconds
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Bonus Oz 9 "the hiatus ate us" chat
Published: Aug. 20, 2021, 2:09 a.m.Duration: 1 hour 13 minutes 47 seconds
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episode sixty: Your breath smells of caramel and butterscotch
Published: July 11, 2021, noonDuration: 57 minutes 12 seconds
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episode fifty-nine: Quality control. Also, nibbles.
Published: June 16, 2021, 12:12 a.m.Duration: 30 minutes 32 seconds
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episode fifty-eight: Spucked into sace
Published: May 17, 2021, 11:24 p.m.Duration: 27 minutes 26 seconds
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episode fifty-seven: But then I also say higgledy piggledy
Published: May 3, 2021, 4:46 a.m.Duration: 28 minutes 1 second
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episode fifty-six: Our future together is suddenly in doubt
Published: April 19, 2021, 6:20 a.m.Duration: 27 minutes 34 seconds
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Bonus Mission: *FWIP!* (Part 2)
Published: March 28, 2021, 11 a.m.Duration: 39 minutes 8 seconds
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episode fifty-five: Monkey Man, gather the sweets
Published: March 22, 2021, 5:54 a.m.Duration: 31 minutes 39 seconds
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episode fifty-four: Remove the bejesus with fear
Published: March 3, 2021, 6:58 a.m.Duration: 29 minutes 31 seconds
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episode fifty-three: Where's Grammar Girl when you need her?
Published: Feb. 15, 2021, 3:33 a.m.Duration: 30 minutes 32 seconds
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episode fifty-two: Everyone knows about bockling
Published: Feb. 1, 2021, 4:52 a.m.Duration: 33 minutes 22 seconds
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episode fifty-one: I look damn good in jodhpurs
Published: Jan. 17, 2021, 11:23 a.m.Duration: 30 minutes 12 seconds
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Oz 9 It doesn't get much more trivial than this
Published: Jan. 4, 2021, 2:29 a.m.Duration: 1 hour 25 minutes 55 seconds
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Bonus: Oz 9 It doesn't get much more trivial than this
Published: Jan. 4, 2021, 2:29 a.m.Duration: 1 hour 28 minutes 32 seconds
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The Oz 9 Night Before Christmas
Published: Dec. 25, 2020, 1:43 a.m.Duration: 3 minutes 9 seconds
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Bonus: The Oz 9 Night Before Christmas
Published: Dec. 25, 2020, 1:43 a.m.Duration: 4 minutes 38 seconds
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Diary of a Oz9ivist: Is this a cheese dream?
Published: Dec. 6, 2020, noonDuration: 20 minutes 22 seconds
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Bonus Diary of a Oz9ivist: Is this a cheese dream?
Published: Dec. 6, 2020, noonDuration: 22 minutes 53 seconds
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episode fifty: M'Lady of Little Chadwick upon Bad Patter
Published: Nov. 22, 2020, 9:06 p.m.Duration: 31 minutes 34 seconds
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episode forty-nine: I'm soft, squishy, and covered in Hollandaise sauce
Published: Nov. 9, 2020, 4:38 a.m.Duration: 32 minutes 48 seconds
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episode forty-eight: Putting the freeze on boogerology
Published: Oct. 25, 2020, 11 a.m.Duration: 28 minutes 44 seconds
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episode forty-eight: We only have three minutes
Published: Oct. 25, 2020, 11 a.m.Duration: 31 minutes 16 seconds
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episode forty-seven: Chasing Lord Lunchable
Published: Oct. 11, 2020, 11 a.m.Duration: 27 minutes 32 seconds
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episode forty-six: It's invasion of the body snackers
Published: Sept. 27, 2020, 11 a.m.Duration: 29 minutes 49 seconds
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episode forty-five: Who doesn't love a decorative bunting?
Published: Sept. 13, 2020, 11:30 a.m.Duration: 30 minutes 28 seconds
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episode forty-four: It's very hard to do science in this position
Published: Aug. 30, 2020, 11 a.m.Duration: 31 minutes 28 seconds
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episode forty-three: Found their fillings in a compost pile
Published: Aug. 16, 2020, 10:36 a.m.Duration: 28 minutes 32 seconds
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episode forty-two: Escaping at a brisk walk
Published: Aug. 9, 2020, 11 a.m.Duration: 28 minutes 37 seconds
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episode forty-one: My kidneys go straight to voice mail
Published: July 19, 2020, 11:01 a.m.Duration: 27 minutes 43 seconds
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Bonus: Oz 9 hiatus episode: We'll always have ...
Published: July 12, 2020, 11 a.m.Duration: 19 minutes 6 seconds
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Oz 9 hiatus episode: We'll always have ...
Published: July 12, 2020, 11 a.m.Duration: 16 minutes 36 seconds
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Oz 9: The Season Two Crew
Published: July 5, 2020, 9:57 p.m.Duration: 1 hour 42 minutes 51 seconds
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Bonus Oz 9: The Season Two Crew
Published: July 5, 2020, 9:57 p.m.Duration: 1 hour 45 minutes 29 seconds
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The Oz 8000 Biosphere: Portrait of a Refuge
Published: June 9, 2020, 6:23 a.m.Duration: 22 minutes 16 seconds
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Bonus: The Oz 8000 Biosphere: Portrait of a Refuge
Published: June 9, 2020, 6:23 a.m.Duration: 24 minutes 47 seconds
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episode forty: Be prepared to lose body hair
Published: May 24, 2020, noonDuration: 30 minutes 7 seconds
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episode thirty-nine: From last cluck to a bucket of extra crispy
Published: May 10, 2020, 11 a.m.Duration: 27 minutes 40 seconds
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episode thirty-eight: I forgot to untie the technician
Published: April 26, 2020, 2:49 p.m.Duration: 32 minutes 19 seconds
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episode thirty-seven: Hung up like a deli chicken
Published: April 12, 2020, 3:29 p.m.Duration: 27 minutes 18 seconds
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episode thirty-six: There once was a garcon from Bordeaux
Published: March 30, 2020, 2:49 a.m.Duration: 29 minutes 58 seconds
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episode thirty-five: Rabid egret eggs and something vaguely chivelike
Published: March 15, 2020, noonDuration: 26 minutes 29 seconds
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episode thirty-four: Fly, you beautiful bastard, fly
Published: March 1, 2020, 11:18 p.m.Duration: 27 minutes 36 seconds
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episode thirty-three: If you say so, Frog Butt
Published: Feb. 16, 2020, 1 p.m.Duration: 25 minutes 42 seconds
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episode thirty-two: It's stuck in my cravat
Published: Feb. 2, 2020, 1 p.m.Duration: 26 minutes 27 seconds
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episode thirty-one and a half: Scrummy nuns and dodgy deacons
Published: Jan. 19, 2020, noonDuration: 15 minutes 39 seconds
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Bonus episode thirty-one and a half: Scrummy nuns and dodgy deacons
Published: Jan. 19, 2020, noonDuration: 18 minutes 8 seconds
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episode thirty-one: Daydreams and teddy bear hugs
Published: Jan. 12, 2020, 5:59 p.m.Duration: 29 minutes 47 seconds
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episode thirty: There's an armpit method?
Published: Dec. 29, 2019, noonDuration: 20 minutes 41 seconds
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episode twenty-nine and a half: The Annual Assassins Holiday Dinner
Published: Dec. 25, 2019, 2:55 p.m.Duration: 19 minutes 14 seconds
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Bonus episode twenty-nine and a half: The Annual Assassins Holiday Dinner
Published: Dec. 25, 2019, 2:55 p.m.Duration: 21 minutes 44 seconds
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episode twenty-nine: A rather amorous gecko
Published: Dec. 15, 2019, 12:30 p.m.Duration: 30 minutes 40 seconds
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episode twenty-eight: Not a sane pair of lederhosen on this ship
Published: Dec. 1, 2019, 9:03 p.m.Duration: 25 minutes 31 seconds
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episode twenty-seven: Too chiseled to burn
Published: Nov. 17, 2019, noonDuration: 24 minutes 38 seconds
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episode twenty-six: The death of Karen
Published: Nov. 3, 2019, 11 a.m.Duration: 25 minutes 28 seconds
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It's an Oz 9 Halloween
Published: Nov. 1, 2019, 4:07 a.m.Duration: 15 minutes 39 seconds
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Bonus: It's an Oz 9 Halloween
Published: Nov. 1, 2019, 4:07 a.m.Duration: 18 minutes 9 seconds
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episode twenty-five: Hey, Doc, can I pet this?
Published: Oct. 13, 2019, 7:28 p.m.Duration: 26 minutes 27 seconds
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episode twenty-four: Is it really an esophagus anymore?
Published: Sept. 29, 2019, 11 a.m.Duration: 26 minutes 25 seconds
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episode twenty-three and a half
Published: Sept. 22, 2019, 11 a.m.Duration: 12 minutes 23 seconds
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Bonus episode twenty-three and a half: Can you give yourself the finger?
Published: Sept. 22, 2019, 11 a.m.Duration: 14 minutes 53 seconds
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episode twenty-three: All of ze tings in zis vun
Published: Sept. 15, 2019, noonDuration: 26 minutes 6 seconds
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episode twenty-two: It wasn't an olive
Published: Sept. 1, 2019, 7:26 p.m.Duration: 27 minutes 8 seconds
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episode twenty-one: You're not getting a tombstone
Published: Aug. 18, 2019, noonDuration: 25 minutes 24 seconds
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Oz 9 hiatus episode All Together Now
Published: Aug. 11, 2019, 12:30 p.m.Duration: 39 minutes 26 seconds
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Bonus Oz 9 hiatus episode All Together Now
Published: Aug. 11, 2019, 12:30 p.m.Duration: 41 minutes 59 seconds
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Hiatus episode 2: And the Rest
Published: Aug. 1, 2019, 4:15 a.m.Duration: 1 hour 2 minutes 38 seconds
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Bonus Hiatus episode 2: And the Rest
Published: Aug. 1, 2019, 4:15 a.m.Duration: 1 hour 5 minutes 13 seconds
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Cast interviews: Colin, Leet, LBF, the Albatros
Published: July 21, 2019, 4:21 p.m.Duration: 47 minutes 37 seconds
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Bonus Cast interviews: Colin, Leet, LBF, the Albatros
Published: July 21, 2019, 4:21 p.m.Duration: 50 minutes 11 seconds
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episode twenty: In space, no one can hear you stupid
Published: July 14, 2019, 11 a.m.Duration: 29 minutes 44 seconds
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episode nineteen: Peeing in a bucket and eating pocket lint
Published: June 30, 2019, 1 p.m.Duration: 25 minutes 40 seconds
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episode eighteen: I speak a little oregano
Published: June 16, 2019, 1 p.m.Duration: 24 minutes 1 second
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episode seventeen and a half: Between the wormhole and the Rinse McGoo
Published: June 9, 2019, 1 p.m.Duration: 17 minutes 46 seconds
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Bonus episode seventeen and a half: Between the wormhole and the Rinse McGoo
Published: June 9, 2019, 1 p.m.Duration: 20 minutes 17 seconds
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episode seventeen: So the deed could not be done
Published: June 2, 2019, 1 p.m.Duration: 27 minutes 44 seconds
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episode sixteen: We are not breathing the passengers
Published: May 19, 2019, 11:30 a.m.Duration: 21 minutes 20 seconds
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episode fifteen: Heroic Running!
Published: May 5, 2019, 1 p.m.Duration: 25 minutes 11 seconds
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episode fourteen and a half
Published: April 28, 2019, 1 p.m.Duration: 10 minutes 14 seconds
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Bonus episode fourteen and a half: Deep breath and follow the doors
Published: April 28, 2019, 1 p.m.Duration: 12 minutes 44 seconds
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episode fourteen: Of baguettes and bastards
Published: April 21, 2019, 7:29 p.m.Duration: 21 minutes 38 seconds
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episode thirteen: Aim for the mime
Published: April 7, 2019, 1 p.m.Duration: 20 minutes 25 seconds
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Oz 9 Mini Episode 10 and a half
Published: March 31, 2019, 4 p.m.Duration: 6 minutes 34 seconds
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Bonus: Oz 9 Mini Episode 10 and a half
Published: March 31, 2019, 4 p.m.Duration: 8 minutes 3 seconds
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episode twelve: A bucket full of mime
Published: March 24, 2019, 4 p.m.Duration: 20 minutes 1 second
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episode eleven: She might do some lasting pickles
Published: March 10, 2019, 7:37 p.m.Duration: 18 minutes 29 seconds
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episode ten: Fixing the ejaculax
Published: Feb. 24, 2019, 11:42 p.m.Duration: 18 minutes 15 seconds
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episode nine: Mind the gap
Published: Feb. 11, 2019, 2:58 a.m.Duration: 16 minutes 47 seconds
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episode eight: Things that go stupid in the night
Published: Jan. 30, 2019, 3:14 a.m.Duration: 18 minutes 26 seconds
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episode seven: The biggest bunch of mindless wankers
Published: Jan. 13, 2019, 11:11 p.m.Duration: 18 minutes 8 seconds
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episode six: Dark and starting to collect liquid
Published: Jan. 7, 2019, 3:31 a.m.Duration: 15 minutes 28 seconds
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episode five: There's a zombie in the corridor
Published: Dec. 23, 2018, 3:26 a.m.Duration: 16 minutes 11 seconds
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episode four: Space is great for sulking
Published: Dec. 13, 2018, 1:27 a.m.Duration: 13 minutes 28 seconds
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episode three: Great heaving chesticles
Published: Dec. 4, 2018, 3:59 a.m.Duration: 16 minutes 11 seconds
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episode two: I had a cake all to meself
Published: Nov. 24, 2018, 1:03 a.m.Duration: 15 minutes 14 seconds
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episode one: What the f&#* is that smell??
Published: Nov. 18, 2018, 1:31 a.m.Duration: 19 minutes 48 seconds
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