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The Lincoln Story Book

by Henry L. WILLIAMS (1842 - )

130 - Pills To Purge Melancholy.

Subtitle: A Judicious Collection of the Best Stories and Anecdotes of the Great President, Many Appearing Here for the First Time in Book Form - compiled by Henry L. WilliamsThe Abraham Lincoln Statue at Chicago is accepted as the typical Westerner of the forum, the rostrum, and the tribune, as he stood to be inaugurated under the war-cloud in 1861. But there is another Lincoln as dear to the common people--the Lincoln of happy quotations, the speaker of household words. Instead of the erect, impressive, penetrative platform orator we see a long, gaunt figure, divided between two chairs for comfort, the head bent forward, smiling broadly, the lips curved in laughter, the deep eyes irradiating their caves of wisdom; the story-telling Lincoln, enjoying the enjoyment he gave to others. (from the preface of the book) This is so big it took two pages on Internet Archive to store it all (Part 1 has 01 - 255 and part 2 has 256-391).

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Listen next episodes of The Lincoln Story Book:
131 - Down To The Raisins! , 132 - Giant And Giant-Killer. , 133 - Lincoln's "Sentiments" On A Mooted Point. , 134 - Chestnuts Under A Sycamore. , 135 - Still Of Little Note. , 136 - The Tree-Toad And "Timotheus." , 137 - If It Will Do The President Good-- , 138 - Grounds For A Financial Estimate. , 139 - I Wanted To See Them Spread! , 140 - The Lincoln Non Sequitur. , 141 - Why So Many Common People. , 142 - Envy Of A Humorist. , 143 - The Stopper On Journalistic "Gas." , 144 - Salt Before Pepper. , 145 - Matching Stories. , 146 - The Only Discredit. , 147 - No Re-Lie-ance Of Them! , 148 - No Vices--Few Virtues. , 149 - The Apples Of His Eye. , 150 - The Whetstone Story. , 151 - The Monarch Of All He Surveyed. , 152 - Men Have Faults Like Horses. , 153 - Lincoln's Puns On Proper Names. , 154 - Not So Easy To Get Into Prison. , 155 - Them Three Fellers Agin! , 156 - Lincoln The Great And Lincoln The Little. , 157 - Go, Thou, And Do Likewise. , 158 - Is The World Going To Follow That Comet Off? , 159 - A Good Listener. , 160 - Carried The Post-Matter In His Hat. , 161 - President Lincoln Dubbed Them The "Wide-Awakes." , 162 - Trust To The Old Blue Sock. , 163 - If All Failed, He Could Go Back To The Old Trade! , 164 - As A Light Porter. , 165 - Whiskered, To Please The Ladies And Get Votes. , 166 - After Votes. , 167 - The Highwayman's Non Sequitur. , 168 - How To Get Men To Vote! , 169 - Beginning At The Head With Clothing. , 170 - Luce A Jug--The Handle All One Side. , 171 - Such A Sucker As Me, President! , 172 - One Happy Day. , 173 - Old Abe Will Look Better When His Hair Is Combed. , 174 - A Curious Combination. , 175 - Abraham Lincoln , 176 - The Snake Simile. , 177 - What's In A Name? , 178 - Paying For Whisky He Did Not Drink. , 179 - The Highest Merit To The Soldier. , 180 - How Sleep The Brave? , 181 - The Stokers As Brave As Any. , 182 - Try And Go As Far As You Can! , 183 - Argument Of "The Stub-Tailed Cow." , 184 - Pegged Or Sewed? , 185 - Soldiering Apart From Politics. , 186 - A Time That Tried The Soul. , 187 - Cabinet Talk. , 188 - On The Blister-Bench. , 189 - Abe, A Thundering Old Glory! , 190 - Perfect Retaliation. , 191 - Let Down The Bars A Leetle. , 192 - The Administration Can Stand It If The Times Can. , 193 - Bottling That Wasp. , 194 - That King Lost His Head. , 195 - Swearing Like A Churchwarden. , 196 - My Speeches Have Originality As Their Merit. , 197 - Righting Wrong Hurts, But Does Good. , 198 - Stanton's Service Was Worth His Sauce. , 199 - A Secret Of The Interior. , 200 - All Staff And No Army. , 201 - No Man Is Indispensable. , 202 - Sleeping On Post Cancels A Commission. , 203 - My Question! , 204 - If Good, He's Got It! If T'Aint Good, He Ain't Got It! , 205 - Lincoln Guessed The First Time. , 206 - A Phantom Chase. , 207 - The Word Flies, But The Writ Remains. , 208 - The War-Lord. , 209 - File It Away! , 210 - What We Have, We Will Give You. , 211 - More "Shinplasters" To Heal The Sore. , 212 - There Is Much In An 'If' And A 'But.' , 213 - Don't Waste The Plug, But Use It! , 214 - The Running Fever. , 215 - One And A Half Times Bigger Than Other Men! , 216 - So Slow, A Hearse Ran Over Him! , 217 - Blood-Shedding Remits Sins. , 218 - His "Leg Cases." , 219 - How The Delinquent Soldier Paid His Debt. , 220 - The Swearing Had To Be Done Then, Or Not At All! , 221 - Displace The Thistles By Flowers. , 222 - You Have One, And I Have One--That Is Right! , 223 - Shooting A Man Does Him No Good! , 224 - Benevolence Is Beautiful. , 225 - It Was The Baby That Did It. , 226 - It Rests Me To Save A Life! , 227 - A Family Man Wants To See His Family. , 228 - A Rule Without Exception. , 229 - Even Rebels Might Be Saved. , 230 - Whipping Around The Stump. , 231 - Life Too Precious To Be Lost. , 232 - Mercy Has Precedence Over The Rigid. , 233 - Taken From Rebellion And Given To Loyalty. , 234 - Suspension Is Not Execution , 235 - The Discontented ... About Four Hundred-- , 236 - Not Much Of A Head, But His Only One! , 237 - Gi'e Us A Good Conceit! , 238 - They Went Away Sicker Still. , 239 - Of Twenty Applicants, Nineteen Are Made Enemies. , 240 - Rid Of An Office-Seeker. , 241 - Not Good Offices, But A Good Story. , 242 - Encourage Longing For Work. , 243 - But Aaron Got His Commission! , 244 - Something Lincolnian All Could Take. , 245 - Not Many Such Boys Outside Of Sunday-Schools! , 246 - The Good Boy Gets On. , 247 - How McCulloch Was Constrained To Serve. , 248 - All Mouth And No Hands' Class. , 249 - Hot And Cold The Same Breath. , 250 - Wanted The Jail Earnings. , 251 - A Title No Hindrance. , 252 - A Talker With Nothing To Say. , 253 - Stick To Your Business. , 254 - Marrying A Man Without His Consent. , 255 - A Luxury To See One Who Wants Nothing. , 256 - Accuse Not A Servant---- , 257 - A Wolf In A Trap Must Sacrifice His "Tail" To Be Free. , 258 - Somewhat Of A Newsman. , 259 - A Little More Light And A Little Less Noise. , 260 - My Part Of The Ship Is Anchored. , 261 - Angels Swearing Make No Difference. , 262 - Washington's Difficult Task. , 263 - Steel And Steal. , 264 - That's What's The Matter. , 265 - The Ship Of State Simile. , 266 - A Pill For The Public Printer. , 267 - Let The Grass Grow Where It May! , 268 - The Peace-At-Any-Price Party. , 269 - Things Were Topsy-Turvy Aloft, Too. , 270 - Hitching To The Moon. , 271 - A Red Flag To Him. , 272 - Fly Away, Jack! , 273 - His Pen Wanted To Keep Their Hogs Safe. , 274 - Hurrah For You! , 275 - Put Your Feet Right And Stand Firm! , 276 - Get Their Graves Ready! , 277 - Mr. Lincoln's Opinion Of General McClellan. , 278 - A "Stationary" Engine. , 279 - Shoveling Fleas. , 280 - The Georgia Colonel's Costume. , 281 - Coarse Feed First! , 282 - Ain't I Glad To Git Out O' De Wilderness! , 283 - With Two Guns, Hold Off An Army. , 284 - Breaking Up The Little Game. , 285 - The Bottom Will Fall Out. , 286 - Master Of Them Both. , 287 - The Skeered Virginian. , 288 - He Who Fights And Runs Away-- , 289 - No Sunday Fighting. , 290 - Let A Good Man Alone! , 291 - The "Blondin" Simile. , 292 - The Pioneer's Land-Title. , 293 - Cheers Not Military--But I Like Them! , 294 - Numbering The Hairs Of His--Tail! , 295 - An Unconventional Order. , 296 - It Occurs To Me That I Am Commander! , 297 - Compliments Is All They Do Pay! , 298 - Bail The Potomac With A Spoon. , 299 - We Shall Beat Them, My Son! , 300 - Little For So Big A Business. , 301 - Not "Shoulder-Straps," But Hardtack. , 302 - Maryland A Good State To Move From! , 303 - Don't Swap Horses Crossing A Stream. , 304 - No Placing Thorns In The Side Of My Worst Enemy! , 305 - The Lincoln Plan Of Campaign. , 306 - The Commander Should Obey Orders. , 307 - The Idlers Equaled The Effectives. , 308 - Rest! , 309 - I Can Bear Censure, But Not Insult! , 310 - A Battle Of Roses. , 311 - Help Me Let Go! , 312 - Splitting The Difference. , 313 - In The Inca's Position. , 314 - Blind Fortune. , 315 - Little David And The Stone For Goliath. , 316 - Lincoln's Cheese-Box On A Raft. , 317 - No "Dutch Courage." , 318 - If I Had As Much Money And Was As Badly Skeered---- , 319 - It Pleases Her, And It Don't Hurt Me. , 320 - Let Him Squeal If He Works. , 321 - Brigadiers Cheap--Chargers Costly. , 322 - To Cure Singing In The Head. , 323 - Bowing To The Boy Of Battles. , 324 - When Washington Was All One Tavern. , 325 - Break The Critter Where Slim! , 326 - How Get Him Out? , 327 - A Pleasure To Preside, At Last! , 328 - On The Lord's Side. , 329 - To Canaan! , 330 - Going To Canaan! , 331 - The Fox Appointed Paymaster. , 332 - Risking The Dictatorship. , 333 - A Stage In The Ceaseless March Onward To Victory. , 334 - Working For A Living Makes One Practical. , 335 - Hold On And Chaw! , 336 - The Great National Job. , 337 - For Flaying A Man Alive. , 338 - One On 'em Not Dead Yet! , 339 - The South Like An Ash-Cake. , 340 - I Count For Something! , 341 - Passes No Good For Richmond. , 342 - The Mayor Is The Better Horse. , 343 - The Real Thing Superior To The Sham Battle. , 344 - The Tool Turned On The Handle. , 345 - Sooner The Fowl By Hatching The Egg Than Smashing It. , 346 - Too Busy To Go Into Another Business. , 347 - The Scale Of Rebels. , 348 - One War At A Time. , 349 - Agin' The Government. , 350 - Plowing Around A Log. , 351 - Not The Right "Clay" To Cement A Union. , 352 - The Man Down South. , 353 - The Dismembered "Yaller" Dog. , 354 - The Meteorological Omen. , 355 - Did She Take The Wink To Herself? , 356 - Going Down With Colors Flying. , 357 - There Must Be The Bell-Mule. , 358 - Root, Hog, Or Die! , 359 - The Grant Brand Of Whisky. , 360 - A General, At Last! , 361 - A Fizzle Anyhow! , 362 - Forget Over A Grave! , 363 - If He Felt That Way--Start! , 364 - Figures Will Prove Anything. , 365 - I Don't Want To--But That's It If I Must Die! , 366 - Best Let An Elephant Go! , 367 - History Repeats. , 368 - Not The President, But The Old Friend. , 369 - Close Your Eyes! , 370 - Don't Judge By Appearances. , 371 - Nothing Can Touch Him Further. , 372 - Went And Returned! , 373 - The Clear Foresight. , 374 - Do It "Unbeknownst." , 375 - One Cannot Die Twice. , 376 - No More Invidious Name-Calling. , 377 - The United States Of America The Treasury Of The World. , 378 - Hang On--Not Hang! , 379 - Lincoln's Last Wish. , 380 - Assassiniation. , 381 - A President, Not An Emperor. , 382 - The Plot To Waylay The President (1860). , 383 - I Don't Believe There Is Any Danger! , 384 - Worry Till You Get Rid Of Things. , 385 - The Fearlessness Of The God-Fearing. , 386 - The Poisoning Plot. , 387 - Nothing Like Getting Used To Things! , 388 - Most Afraid Of A Friendly Shot. , 389 - The One Word He Had Learned. , 390 - Not To Disappoint The People. , 391 - Nothing Like Prayer--But Praise.