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We all have goals for our children, even if these are things that we\u2019ve never formally articulated and are ideas we\u2019ve inherited from half-remembered bits of parenting books and blogs (and the occasional podcast) and the way we were parented ourselves.\nBut do you ever find that the way you\u2019re parenting in the moment doesn\u2019t necessarily support your overarching goals? So, if you have a goal to raise an independent child but every time the child struggles with something you step in and \u201chelp,\u201d then your daily interactions with your child may not help your child to achieve that independence.\nIn this episode Dr. Joan Grusec of the University of Toronto helps us to think through some of the ways we can shift our daily interactions with our children to ones that bring our relationship with them (rather than our need for compliance) to the fore in a way that supports our longer-term parenting goals.\n \nReferences\nCoplan, R.J., Hastings, P.D., Lagace,-Seguin, D.G., and Moulton, C.E. (2002). Authoritative and authoritarian mothers\u2019 parenting goals, attributions, and emotions across different childrearing contexts. Parenting: Science and Practice 2(1), 1-26.\nDix, T., Ruble, D.N., and Zambarano, R. (1989). Mothers\u2019 implicit theories of discipline: Child effects, parent effects, and the attribution process. Child Development 60, 1373-1391.\nGrusec, J.E. (2002). Parental socialization and children\u2019s acquisition of values. In M.H. Bornstein (Ed.). Handbook of Parenting (2nd Ed)., Volume 5: Practical issues in parenting (p.143-168). Mahwah, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum.\nHastings, P.D., and Grusec, J.E. (1998). Parenting goals as organizers of responses to parent-child disagreement. Developmental Psychology 34(3), 465-479.\nKelly, G. A. (1995). The psychology of personal constructs (2vols.). New York: Norton.\nKuczynski, L. (1984). Socialization goals and mother-child interaction: Strategies for long-term and short-term compliance. Developmental Psychology 20(6), 1061-1073.\nLin, H. (2001). Exploring the associations of momentary parenting goals with micro and macro levels of parenting: Emotions, attributions, actions, and styles. Unpublished Master\u2019s thesis. Stillwater, OK: Oklahoma State University.\nMeng, C. (2012). Parenting goals and parenting styles among Taiwanese parents: The moderating role of child temperament. The New School Psychology Bulletin 9(2), 52-67.\nMiller, P. J., Wang, S. H., and Cho, G. E. (2002). Self-esteem as folk theory: a comparison of EA and Taiwanese mothers\u2019 beliefs. Parenting: Science and Practice, 2, 209-239.\n \nhttps://www.addtoany.com/add_to/facebook?linkurl=https%3A%2F%2Fyourparentingmojo.com%2Fgoals%2Fandlinkname=078%3A%20You%20have%20parenting%20goals%3B%20do%20you%20know%20what%20they%20are%3F ()https://www.addtoany.com/add_to/twitter?linkurl=https%3A%2F%2Fyourparentingmojo.com%2Fgoals%2Fandlinkname=078%3A%20You%20have%20parenting%20goals%3B%20do%20you%20know%20what%20they%20are%3F ()https://www.addtoany.com/add_to/pinterest?linkurl=https%3A%2F%2Fyourparentingmojo.com%2Fgoals%2Fandlinkname=078%3A%20You%20have%20parenting%20goals%3B%20do%20you%20know%20what%20they%20are%3F ()https://www.addtoany.com/add_to/email?linkurl=https%3A%2F%2Fyourparentingmojo.com%2Fgoals%2Fandlinkname=078%3A%20You%20have%20parenting%20goals%3B%20do%20you%20know%20what%20they%20are%3F ()