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Vanessa\u2019s a licensed psychotherapist with 20 years of experience in the sex therapy field. Xander\u2019s a regular dude who\u2019s been married to a sex therapist for over a decade\n\nTheir hot take on desire.\n\nTheir top three causes of low libido that they see\n\n1) Painful sex\n\n2) Unpleasurable sex\n\n3) Relationship issues\n\n\u201cOur libido gets affected by everything in our lives\u201d \u2013 Vanessa Marin\n\n\u201cIs my life actually supporting my libido?\u201d \u2013 Vanessa Marin\n\nLet\u2019s talk about initiation \u2013 tips, couples get stuck in old scripts that stop working as relationships change\n\n\u201cYou get rejected once and you think you are unlovable\u201d \u2013 Dr. Casperson\n\n\u201cinitiation should feel like an invitation\u201d \u2013 Vanessa\n\n\u201cInitiation takes a large amount of vulnerability\u201d \u2013 Vanessa\n\n\u201cThere are a lot of unhealthy gender dynamics that come up with initiation\u201d \u2013 Xander Marin\n\nAccording to their online poll, only 2% of breast owners like the \u201cboob honk\u201d as a way to initiate sex.\n\nSpouses who avoid talking about sex \u2013 they are writing a book!\n\nWhat to do when a partner stonewalls the conversation \u2013 don\u2019t start with the problems.\n\nConnected to feel like sex or sex to feel connected \u2013 often one of each in a partnership\n\nAt what point should couples consider bringing in a therapist?\n\nHow to find out how much sex is \u201cright\u201d for someone\u2019s relationship\n\nWoman says \u2013 he doesn\u2019t care about my pleasure \u2013 what to do?\n\nVibrator envy \u2013 help for the woman when the partner doesn\u2019t understand and being able to advocate for your pleasure.\n\nConsent and the problem of \u201cI just do it for him\u201d\n\nAvoiding sex because of erectile dysfunction. They help us trouble shoot.\n\n2023 new book! Sex Talks: The 5 Conversations That Will Transform Your Love Life Hardcover \u2013 February 7, 2023\n\nhttps://www.instagram.com/vanessamarintherapy/\n\nhttps://vmtherapy.com\n\nhttps://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/pillow-talks/id1569466131?i=1000577319619\n\nSex Talks Book: Pre-Order - https://amzn.to/3CR8OT9\n\nDid you get the You Are Not Broken Book Yet? https://amzn.to/3p18DfK\n\nJoin my membership to get these episodes ASAP when they are created and without advertisement and even listen live to the interviews and episodes.\n\nwww.kellycaspersonmd.com/membership\n\nOur podcast sponsor is Bonafide\n\nBonafide products help women embrace the natural changes that occur throughout all phases of life.\n\nDiscount code for 20% off: NOTBROKEN\n\nSales link: https://hellobonafide.com/notbroken\n\n\n--- \n\nSend in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/kj-casperson/message\nLearn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices