DEEP DIVE: Why Are Our Kids Such Total Opposites?

Published: Feb. 26, 2024, 10:30 a.m.

We're doing a "Deep Dive" into our past episodes on birth order and how it can shape both kids' personalities and their relationships with their siblings. Find the rest of the episodes in this deep dive series in this Spotify playlist. \nIt\u2019s not your imagination: kids raised in the same family really do push in opposite directions\u2013 and we mean POLAR opposites, especially for closely-spaced or same-sex siblings. But why the de-identification? And how is it even possible for kids reared in the same environment to be so completely different?\n\xa0In this episode we discuss:\n\n\xa0the three theories social scientists have about this phenomenon\n\n\xa0why siblings may \u201cevolve\u201d like Darwin\u2019s finches\n\n\xa0how \u201cthe shy one\u201d in a given family may not be that shy at all- except compared to that outgoing sibling\n\n\xa0what parents need to watch out for in terms of leaning in to these (sometimes oversimplified) categories\n\n\xa0\n\xa0Here\u2019s links to the fascinating research, and stuff that it reminded us of, discussed in this episode:\n\n\xa0Alix Spiegel for NPR:\xa0Siblings Share Genes, But Rarely Personalities\n\n\nNYT:\xa0Each Sibling Experiences a Different Family\n\n\nDr. Robert Plomin and Dr Denise Daniels:\xa0Why are Children in the Same Family So Different From One Another?\n\n\nDr. Frank Sullaway:\xa0Why Siblings Are Like Darwin\u2019s Finches: Birth Order, Sibling Competition, and Adaptive Divergence within the Family\n\n\nDr. Robert Plomin and Dr. Judy Dunn:\xa0Why Are Siblings So Different? The Significance of Differences in Sibling Experiences Within the Family\n\n\nScience Daily:\xa0Parents\u2019 Comparisons Make Siblings Different\n\n\nDr. Alexander Jensen and Dr. Susan McHale:\xa0What makes siblings different? The development of sibling differences in academic achievement and interests.\n\n\nAmy\u2019s yin-and-yang sons, born on the Chinese days of\xa0Greatest Heat (Dashu)\xa0and\xa0Deepest Snow (Daxue)\n\n\nthe hilarious book\xa0Hyperbole and a Half, with its \u201cHot Sauce\u201d reminder of what happens when we lean too hard into what we maybe only *think* are our children\u2019s defining characteristics\n\nand our own episode discussing\xa0birth order\xa0and how it shapes our kids\u2019 personalities.\n\n\nWe love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:\nhttps://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/\nmom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips,\xa0mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid\u2019s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, middle child, birth order, siblings\nLearn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices