DEEP DIVE: Getting Kids to Cooperate
We're doing a "Deep Dive" into our past episodes about "getting our kids to...," from listening to what we say the first time, to talking to us about what matters most to them. Find the rest of the episodes in this deep dive series in\xa0this Spotify playlist.\nHow do we get our kids to listen to us and do as we ask, without too many tears on either side? Here are some parenting tips for encouraging cooperation in kids (and modeling it ourselves.)\nOur listener Alison asked:\nI would love some insight into engaging the cooperation of my two boys, 5 and almost 3 years old. At what age is it reasonable to expect them to put away their toys, stay seated for meals, get in the bath without mind games, and get ready for bed in less than 60 minutes? They are capable, but rarely willing, and 8 out of 10 times it's an ordeal. We have routines, we announce transitions in advance, we give them choices and even try to make it fun, but I feel like I am either haranguing them constantly or seething with resentment or both. Do I just accept this is the season of my life? Is cooperation 2 out of 10 times a victory?\xa0\nGetting kids who are younger than three to "do their share" without a lot of coaxing and singing and clapping is pretty tough. Then when they're about six, kids' "fairness radar" kicks in, and they're much less focused on loading the dishwasher than on complaining about who is not currently helping.\xa0\nSo there are roadblocks to kids' cooperation, to be sure, and in this episode we discuss:\n\nwhether "whistling while they work" might be too much to ask\n\nhow "connecting before directing" works for older kids\n\nhow we can model cooperation and hope our kids get the hint. (It's worth a shot.)\n\n\nHere are links to some other writing and books that we discuss in this episode:\n\nOur Fresh Take with Michaeleen Doucleff\n\nCameron Kleimo for Motherly:\xa0How to get your kids to listen\u2014without yelling\n\n\nShelley Phillips for Lifehack:\xa06 Secrets to Getting Kids to Cooperate\n\n\nTerry Orlick:\xa0Cooperative Games and Sports\xa0\n\n\nFrank McCourt: Angela's Ashes\n\nLemony Snicket: A Series of Unfortunate Events\n\n\nWe love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:\nhttps://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/\nmom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips,\xa0mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid\u2019s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent\nLearn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices