Ask Amy: My Daughter Is Suddenly Being Ostracized
What should a parent do when their child is suddenly excluded from their friend group? Amy helps a listener unpack the complexities of this problem:\n"My 13-year-old daughter has inexplicably been dropped from her friend group at her very small school (less than 10 girls in the grade).\xa0As far as my daughter can figure, nothing has precipitated this change. \nThe moms would regularly communicate with each other via text to coordinate as we don\u2019t live in the same town. As a result of this, I know that the moms know that their girls are ostracizing mine. They know she is not invited by their girls. They are no longer texting me to make the plans, carpools, etc. My daughter is distraught.\nI am also sick to my stomach over it. I don\u2019t know how to help her. I am also heartbroken because I felt that I also thought that I I had the beginnings of a friendship with these women. How do I help my daughter through this?"\nThis is devastating both for the teen in question and us as moms, Amy explains, because our emotional responses to our adolescent's struggles are often colored by our own memories of how difficult this time in our lives may have been. Offering your child infinite support and compassion while keeping your judgments (and expletives) to yourself is key. And while keeping an open mind at this time may seem impossible\u2013 who are these little monsters hurting your child's feelings??\u2013 it's also important to remember that there may be more to the story than what you are hearing at home.\nLinks! \nFresh Take: Judith Warner on What Grownups Get Wrong About Middle School\nDr. Lisa Damour on Helping Kids Manage Anxiety\nJudith Warner's book And Then They Stopped Talking to Me: Making Sense of Middle School: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781101905890\n\nSpecial thanks to our sponsor, Pampers:\nFor trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase.\nLearn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices