Admitting Things Aren't Perfect
It's hard to admit things aren't perfect. It's especially hard for moms. Psychologists Paul Hewitt and Gordon Flett described three types of perfectionism in the 1990s: self-directed (I must be a size 2), others-directed (do that piano exercise again until you get it right), and "socially mediated" perfectionism, which comes from society making unrealistic demands of a person or a group and punishes that person when she falls short. Sound familiar?\nTurns out the amount of socially mediated perfectionism a parent feels is directly related to her level of "parental burnout," defined as exhaustion in one\u2019s role as a parent, feelings of being fed up as a parent, and even emotional distancing from one\u2019s children. Not the place any of us want to get to. So why is it so hard to admit things aren't perfect? And how can we start?\nHere are links to some of the research on the topic that we discuss in this episode: \nFatemeh Ghanbari Jahromia et al: The relationship between socially prescribed perfectionism and depression: The mediating role of maladaptive cognitive schemas\xa0\nPaul Hewitt and Gordon Flett: Perfectionism in the Self and Social Contexts\nMatilda Sorkkila and Kaisa Aunola: Risk Factors for Parental Burnout among Finnish Parents: The Role of Socially Prescribed Perfectionism\n\nSpecial thanks to this month's sponsors:\xa0\xa0\nLooking for another great parenting podcast? StrollerCoaster: A Parenting Podcast is created by Munchkin, the most beloved baby brand in the world. Follow or subscribe wherever you listen!\nJane.com\xa0is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women\u2019s fashion, accessories, home decor, children\u2019s clothing, and more. You will not believe the prices!\xa0Visit\xa0jane.com/laughing.\nUsual Wines come in single-serve six-ounce bottles\u2013 about a glass and a half of wine. They\u2019ve got a red blend, a ros\xe9, a sparkling white, plus Usual Spritz, a low-calorie wine cooler. Each has just 83 calories- and they're fermented until there's no more sugar. Get $8 off your first order at usualwines.com with the code FRESHHELL.\nHooked on Phonics is the learn-to-read program that has helped over 6 million kids learn to read. And now it offers a multi-sensory approach, which uniquely combines an amazing app with\xa0hands-on learning materials shipped to your home every month. Get your first month for just $1 by going to hookedonphonics.com/laughing.\nOlive gets you consolidated, cardboard-free deliveries from over 100 of your favorite fashion sites. No cardboard-box waste! Returns are a snap. Best of all, you can sign up for free, at shopolive.com.\nLiterati delivers their monthly book picks straight to your door, so you can spend less time finding a good book and more time actually reading one. And their app lets you chat about the books with the whole Literati community. Redeem your FREE trial at literati.com/whatfreshhell.\nQuince\xa0is a game-changer for your wardrobe and your home, with high-quality essentials at prices 50-80% less than other brands. Free shipping and 365-day returns at\xa0onequince.com/fresh.\nMagic\xa0Spoon\xa0is breakfast cereal that's keto-friendly, gluten-free, grain-free, soy-free, low carb, and GMO-free. Go\xa0to\xa0magicspoon.com/fresh to\xa0grab the new limited edition Birthday Cake flavor today! And use code FRESH at\xa0checkout to save\xa0$5 off.\nParade\xa0makes creative underwear and bralettes in a variety of sizes from extra small to 3 XL.\xa0Supersoft, super-cute, and prices that start at $8! Get 25% off when you spend $40 or more at yourparade.com/wfh with code WFH.\xa0\nLearn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices