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b'Episode Notes
An overworked business woman takes a new job in the midwest winter wonderland town of Tiny Christmas, Iowa. As her Christmas spirit starts to warm up like a hot cup of cocoa something isn\'t quite right and giftwrap isn\'t all that\'s hiding things.
Welcome to Tiny Christmas, Iowa! by Michelle Adler
Music by Ray Mattis
http://raymattispresents.bandcamp.com
Produced by Daniel Wilder
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Transcription:
I let out a sigh as my Uber passed the "Now Entering Tiny Christmas Iowa" sign.
"According to the sign it\'s the Tiniest most Christmasiest place in all of Iowa!" My Uber driver Ajeet chuckled, sensing my displeasure.\\xa0
"I\'m sure it\'s just as Christmasy as all fuck" I say, trying to come off cheery and almost succeeding until that curse word at the end.
I lied on my interview.\\xa0 I hate Christmas, I hate the midwest, the only thing I know about Iowa is that it\\u2019s a Slipknot album, and I have never designed a window display in my life. I am just an unemployable, grumpy, freelance graphic designer from New York City, trying to find any work that isn\\u2019t stocking shelves at a grocery store.\\xa0
To be honest, I didn\\u2019t realize the position was out of state until after I\\u2019d applied. I\\u2019d initially intended to turn the job down as I\\u2019d never had any desire to live anywhere other than the city that never sleeps. The high-rise condos, rats, street vendors, homeless people on every street corner, bodegas also on every corner, and constant bustle are things I\\u2019ve lived for, but at this point, maybe it\\u2019s time to stop pretending I could make it in NYC anymore.\\xa0
It wasn\\u2019t like I had a support system either. No family left and no friends to speak of.\\xa0 I hadn\\u2019t even been on a date in the last two years. My social life revolved mostly around my interactions with my landlord, none of which were pleasant.\\xa0 I heard that she was so happy I was leaving apparently she even threw me a goodbye party.. After I left.
I lived for my work, but things had been so hard lately. Maybe It was time for me to give up.\\xa0 Maybe it was time for me to start over.
\\u201cMa\\u2019am, that\\u2019s all good and fine, but we\\u2019re here.\\u201d\\xa0 Ajeet said while simultaneously unlocking the doors. I hadn\\u2019t realized we\\u2019d even stopped\\u2026 or that I was talking outloud.\\xa0 I guess it had been awhile since I\\u2019d been around other people. \\xa0
I started to open the door before even looking at where I was. When I did, I pulled it back shut. \\u201cThis can\\u2019t be right,\\u201d\\xa0 I mumbled, fumbling for my phone to pull up the address I\\u2019d been given.\\xa0 I was sure I was supposed to be in front of a house, my new house, or, I don\\u2019t know, anything, but instead we sat in a desolate parking lot on the outskirts of what was hopefully the correct town at least. Though it looked anything but Christmassy. In front of me, bloomed an industrial complex with a small collection of seemingly long abandoned warehouses and factories.\\xa0 I felt a jolt of fear ping through my body.\\xa0 It was quiet here, too quiet. Quiet enough for me to be raped and murdered without anyone noticing.\\xa0
\\u201cThis is as far as I can take you,\\u201d I jumped as I realized Ajeet was already grabbing my luggage from the trunk.
\\u201cWhat? Why?\\u201d So no murder then?
\\u201cIt\\u2019s a small town and a beautiful day.\\xa0 Why not take a nice stroll through town on your way? I think the farmer\\u2019s market goes till 3..\\u201d He dodged.
\\u201cNo.. I-I don\\u2019t want to walk and it\\u2019s 30 degrees!\\u201d I said while repositioning the luggage he\\u2019d removed back into the uber,\\xa0 \\u201cI just want you to finish driving me. What\\u2019s the big deal, it\\u2019s your job for christ\\u2019s sake!\\u201d
Ajeet paused. \\u201cListen, I don\\u2019t go in there. Tiny Christmas is not a town for people like me\\u201d He pointed to his turban.\\xa0
\\u201cThey\\u2019re racist\\u2026?\\u201d
\\u201cI don\\u2019t know what you want to call it, but I just don\\u2019t want to spend the afternoon stuck there while they try to convert me\\u2026 again.\\xa0 Last time I didn\\u2019t even get to take a lunch break and I\\u2019m really hungry today, so you\\u2019re on your own.\\u201d He said as he finished re-removing my luggage. \\u201cLike I said, small town, very friendly, I\\u2019m sure you\\u2019ll have no problem finding the place.\\u201d
\\u201cW-well, I personally respect the Islamic religion\\u201d I chased him as he walked back around to the drivers side door and pulled it open, \\u201cI\\u2019ll even buy you lunch, how\\u2019s that?!\\u201d
\\u201cNope. Therapist said I need to start defining my boundaries or people are going to walk all over me for the rest of my life, \\u201cHe slammed the door and pressed the lock down, \\u201cEnjoy your stay in Tiny Christmas, I\\u2019m sure you\\u2019ll have a wonderful time.\\u201d With that he and his Nissan Altima, pulled out of the lot.
\\u201cWait! You can\\u2019t be serious!!\\u201d
\\u201cAnd I\\u2019m Sikh, you asshole!\\u201d He called back as he sped away.
I stood there shivering in the cold, confused and becoming increasingly angry at my predicament. \\u201cNo, you\\u2019re the asshole,\\u201d I grumbled as I grabbed my luggage and resigned myself to walking into town.\\xa0
As I\\u2019d mentioned before, I was basically left to fend for myself in an abandoned wasteland.\\xa0 A beautiful young woman such as myself should not have to subject herself to such a dangerous situation.\\xa0 I pushed through the dystopian scenery with a confident stride, preparing myself for whatever unsavory situation lay ahead of me.\\xa0 However when I finally rounded the last warehouse, I was not prepared for what I saw.\\xa0
Ahead of me, across a set of train tracks, lay the most adorable little downtown I had ever laid my eyes on.\\xa0 As I walked onward the air became filled with the scent of pine, cinnamon, and roasted chestnuts.\\xa0 The streets were packed with happy looking townsfolk, each one going out of their way to say hello as I passed. And Ajeet was right, there was a farmers market!\\xa0
As nice as this all was, I have to admit I was a little uncomfortable with the level of friendliness and Christmas I was experiencing. I felt a bit of guilt well up inside me for not immediately being drawn into the merriness. I managed to brush it off quickly, though.\\xa0 I wasn\\u2019t wrong, they were the ones that were wrong. As I slowly became increasingly annoyed at the pleasantries I happened upon a coffee shop.
\\u201cWelcome to Christmas Coffee!\\u201d An overweight elderly woman hollered in an alarmingly cheery tone as the door jingled closed behind me.
"Would you be able to point me in the direction of 616 Pine St?" I am an unemployed graphic designer with no chit chat skills.
"Oh! I know who you are! You\'re the new window display coordinator from the big city!"\\xa0
"Well yes, and I\'m running late--"
"Oh sweetie, you look just about chilled to the bone! Did some ethnic cab driver refuse to take you the whole way?" She asked. I wondered how common of a thing that was. "Here you go," she poured a cup of coffee and slid it to me "free coffee, on the house! I\'m Amanda by the way."
I took the coffee avoiding her outstretched arm, "that\'s really very nice of you, I\'ll be sure to stop back when I\'m settled, but I\'m running late right now, so.." Yeah, I was never coming back.
"Oh right, 616 Pine was it? Make a left then it\'s two blocks down. You couldn\'t even miss it if you wanted to!"
I thanked her and sped out the door before she could continue to waste my time. I took a sip of the coffee as I walked out into the holiday pandemonium and stopped dead as the warmth hit my tongue.
This was... the best cup of coffee I\'d ever had in my life. It was rich and full bodied with notes of cinnamon, allspice, and honey. It brought back a flood of childhood memories. Drinking hot chocolate after school as my mother brushed the snow out of my hair, watching movies huddled by the fire, my mothers warmth as she rocked me to sleep. God, I missed her. If only, I thought, I could have something like that again in a real, non coffee based sense..
Wait, what was I thinking? I am a powerful, competent, unemployed graphic designer.\\xa0 I\\u2019d never wish for a family, I convinced myself, brushing the tears from my eyes.\\xa0 I went to take another sip of coffee, but I was beginning to feel nauseous, so instead I dropped it in the next available garbage can.
Amanda was right, this place was hard to miss. Two blocks down was almost a full mile away and basically in the woods. The quant tutor with 616 scrolled across the door was the only building on the entire street. As I walked up the driveway, I realized how eerily quiet it had become. I hadn\\u2019t seen a single car pass me in the last half mile.\\xa0 I shivered as the wind whipped up, this was the perfect place for an unsuspecting young woman to be raped and murdered. I was all alone.. No wait, I was being watched.
\\u201cWell hello there, Rachel!\\u201d I jumped as the door of the house popped open to reveal a smiling middle aged man in a suit.
\\u201cOh. oh, hi\\u2026\\u201d I tried to collect myself, \\u201cYou must be--\\u201d
\\u201cCorrect! I\\u2019m Jake from the agency, so glad you were able to find your way here! I was getting a little worried that you hadn\\u2019t been able to find a ride into town.\\u201d\\xa0
\\u201cFunny you should say that---\\u201d
\\u201cAnyway, this is the place!\\u201d He cut me off, holding the door open beckoning me inside. The interior, despite having a certain charm, was covered in a layer of dust and white sheets. The air had a musty quality that signaled that this place had been long forgotten. I sighed, I do not like cleaning.\\xa0
\\u201cAs mentioned earlier,\\u201d he continued, \\u201cit\\u2019s $250/month and you\\u2019re responsible for paying all utilities as well as any yard work or snow removal that needs to be done. Also, I think there are Christmas lights in the basement so you won\'t even need to buy any to decorate.\\u201d
\\u201cI won\\u2019t be needing them, but thank you, I just want to settle in.\\u201d
\\u201cOh,\\u201d He seemed crushed, \\u201cWell, they\\u2019re there in case you change your mind.\\xa0 It would probably go a long way to making the place feel like home.\\u201d
\\u201cUmm thanks\\u2026 well, how long has it been vacant?\\u201d I slid my fingers through the dust on the firepl'