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b'Episode Notes
Penn is an ex-con and he needs a job, but on one fateful night he gets more than he bargained for when a maniac wants his SKIN! And that\'s before we even get to the monster...
The Worm Has Turned by David O\\u2019Hanlon
Music by Ray Mattis
http://raymattispresents.bandcamp.com
Produced by Daniel Wilder
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Transcription:
Penn scratched at the burgundy paint of the park\\u2019s picnic table with his thumbnail. He hated waiting almost as much as he hated being broke. Unfortunately for him, waiting was the only way his bills were getting paid. Penn\\u2019s employment history consisted entirely of community service and eight years on a prison farm. Car jacking and armed robbery didn\\u2019t look great under the \\u2018special skills\\u2019 portion of his resume. So, he waited.
\\u201cHi,\\u201d a tiny voice squeaked beside him. \\u201cI\\u2019m Ed.\\u201d
Penn looked over at the boy who had slipped onto the bench beside him. He was scrawny, with oversized glasses and a shaggy mop of brown hair that filled the space between the lens and his eyes. His shirt was striped intentionally with horizontal bars of color\\u2014and unintentionally with vertical runs of ketchup. The offending condiment was drying around his mouth where it seemed to break away into the constellations of freckles that covered his entire face. Penn sighed. There was no way this kid had any friends to go bother instead.
\\u201cYou don\\u2019t look like an Ed,\\u201d Penn said. \\u201cHere with your folks?\\u201d
\\u201cNope,\\u201d Ed replied. He stared up at Penn, clearly not intending on giving up more information. \\u201cWhat\\u2019s your name, mister?\\u201d
\\u201cEveryone calls me Penn.\\u201d Penn hadn\\u2019t meant to answer, but part of him felt the need to give the kid a break. Life clearly wasn\\u2019t. \\u201cShouldn\\u2019t you be playing? The swings look fun,\\u201d he suggested.
\\u201cI\\u2019m allergic to just about everything and I have basically no immune system.\\u201d Ed shrugged his narrow shoulders. \\u201cThe swings give me motion sickness, anyways.\\u201d\\xa0
\\u201cThen why are you at the park?\\u201d
\\u201cGot nowhere else to be. Mom says her cats are allergic to me too and that I should give them a break. What about you?\\u201d Ed scooped the hair to the outside of the glasses so he could see a little better. \\u201cYou\\u2019re too old for swings.\\u201d
\\u201cFirst of all, no one is too old for swings.\\u201d Penn held up two fingers. \\u201cSecondly, I\\u2019m working.\\u201d
Ed nodded sagely. \\u201cWhat job has you sit in a park?\\u201d
\\u201cThe kind that requires solitude.\\u201d
\\u201cOh,\\u201d Ed sighed. \\u201cI\\u2019d be really good at that job.\\u201d
\\u201cJesus Christ, kid.\\u201d Penn pinched the bridge of his nose. \\u201cI\\u2019ve seen Lifetime movies that were less depressing than you are. Do you want some food?\\u201d
\\u201cJust had three hot dogs,\\u201d Ed chirped happily.
Penn looked the frail little boy over suspiciously. \\u201cWhere\\u2019d you put them, in your pockets?\\u201d\\xa0
\\u201cI have a really high metabolism. I can\\u2019t gain weight.\\u201d Ed\\u2019s face soured then perked back up. \\u201cIt\\u2019s kind of nice because I could eat all the ice cream I wanted if I wasn\\u2019t lactose intolerant.\\u201d
Penn\\u2019s eyes rolled on their own. \\u201cOf course you are. Is there anything you don\\u2019t have wrong with you?\\u201d
\\u201cIt\\u2019s probably safe to say I don\\u2019t have gigantism.\\u201d Ed snickered.
Penn\\u2019s stone face cracked and he busted out laughing. He patted Ed on the shoulder. \\u201cWell done, kid.\\u201d
Ed poked Penn\\u2019s right forearm. \\u201cThat\\u2019s a neat tattoo. Does it mean something?\\u201d
Penn glanced at the arabesque design whose floral pattern twisted from the back of his hand to just past his elbow with a lion-like creature roaring in the center. \\u201cYeah. It\\u2019s Burmese. That\\u2019s where my grandmother was from. She raised me, so I did this to remember her. She had an amulet with the same symbol that she wore everywhere. She said it was magic and protected her from evil.\\u201d
\\u201cThat\\u2019s nifty. Do you believe in magic?\\u201d\\xa0
\\u201cNot particularly. You?\\u201d
\\u201cOf course.\\u201d Ed took a bag of gummi worms from his cargo pants and set them on the table. \\u201cToday is National Gummi Worm Day.\\u201d
\\u201cThat a real thing?\\u201d Penn asked.
\\u201cSure.\\u201d Ed opened the bag and plucked out a red-and-green worm. He put it between his buck-teeth and slurped it into his mouth with a giggle.
Penn smiled at the boy. It wasn\\u2019t an expression he got to use much. \\u201cI guess that\\u2019s a holiday I could get behind.\\u201d
\\u201cIt\\u2019s also Give Something Away Day.\\u201d
\\u201cI\\u2019m generally on the other side of that one.\\u201d Penn snagged one of the boy\\u2019s worms with a wink.
\\u201cThen you\\u2019re in luck.\\u201d Ed took another bag of worms and set it in front of Penn. \\u201cI want to give you these.\\u201d
Penn\\u2019s eyebrow lurched at the gesture. \\u201cWhy?\\u201d
\\u201cBecause that way I can celebrate both holidays at once. It\\u2019s more efficient.\\u201d
\\u201cNo, I meant why give them to me?\\u201d Penn stared at the bag like it might explode. \\u201cThere\\u2019s plenty of kids here.\\u201d
Ed turned on the little bench and waved a bony hand across the expanse of the park. Kids shrieked and ran around, old men played chess under the trees, couples picnicked in the open areas, and a group of teens sold pot next to the forgotten volleyball court.\\xa0
Ed slurped another worm. \\u201cWe\\u2019re the only two that are here alone,\\u201d he said between chewy bites. \\u201cI think that makes you worth sharing with.\\u201d
\\u201cCorrection, you\\u2019re a Hallmark movie.\\u201d Penn rubbed the kid\\u2019s head. \\u201cGuess we\\u2019re not alone now. Thanks, Ed.\\u201d\\xa0
\\u201cNo problem.\\u201d Ed pointed at a man walking toward them with a large envelope tucked under his arm and a gravestone expression on his square face. \\u201cThat guy needs friends more than I do.\\u201d
\\u201cOh, shit.\\u201d Penn stood up and dug in his pocket for second. He pulled out his last five-dollar-bill. \\u201cThat\\u2019s my boss. Happy Give Something Away Day. Now, go get you some non-dairy ice cream.\\u201d
\\u201cDon\\u2019t forget your worms. I think you\\u2019re going to need them.\\u201d Ed smiled and took the money. \\u201cWant to hang out tomorrow?\\u201d
Penn tucked the gummi worms into his pocket and nodded. \\u201cYeah, kid. We\\u2019ll meet here tomorrow, same time.\\u201d
Ed checked his watch, which was struggling to stay over his hand. \\u201cRoger, that.\\u201d\\xa0
Ed jumped up and hugged Penn around the waist. Penn stood perfectly still, not sure of what to do before deciding on a simple pat on the back.\\xa0
\\u201cStay safe, Ed.\\u201d He walked away from the boy and went to meet the grim gentleman.
\\u201cBye, Penn.\\u201d Ed waved frantically and trotted away.
\\xa0\\u201cWho the fuck is that?\\u201d the man asked with nod in Ed\\u2019s direction.
\\u201cAn undercover cop,\\u201d Penn replied. \\u201cHe\\u2019s really good, don\\u2019t you think?\\u201d
\\u201cListen, wise ass, I can find any number of cons to get in on this. I\\u2019m talking to you as a favor, so when I ask a question, you give me a straight answer.\\u201d
\\u201cChill, Richter.\\u201d Penn took the envelope from him. \\u201cHe\\u2019s just a lonely kid looking for someone to talk to.\\u201d
\\u201cNo shit he\\u2019s lonely. Look at the little loser,\\u201d Richter said. \\u201cI\\u2019ve seen bigger abortions.\\u201d
Penn smacked his lips and turned the envelope over in his hands. \\u201cYou know, just because we\\u2019re criminals, doesn\\u2019t mean we have to be pricks.\\u201d\\xa0
Richter smiled at him. It wasn\\u2019t the kind of smile Penn shared with Ed. It was the kind Penn saw on inmates right before they stuck a sharpened toothbrush in someone\\u2019s throat. The expression was a morbid scar across Richter\\u2019s face and his words oozed like septic pus.\\xa0
\\u201cI heard you tell him to be back here tomorrow. Maybe you were just playing nice, but he\\u2019ll be here regardless. You\\u2019re going to go do your homework and be ready for my boys to pick you up and you\\u2019re going to cut the biggest-dick-in-the-cellblock routine.\\u201d Richter pressed two fingers into Penn\\u2019s chest and leaned closer. \\u201cOr tomorrow, I\\u2019m going to come here and I\\u2019m going to rip that little boy\\u2019s guts out to decorate the goddamn see-saw. This job goes off, smooth and by the numbers. Say \\u2018yes, sir\\u2019 and get moving.\\u201d
Penn glanced at Ed waiting in line for the ice cream. \\u201cYes, sir.\\u201d

The job was not going smooth or by the numbers. Richter\\u2019s boys showed up at Penn\\u2019s apartment and took him to the fancy downtown apartments. The three of them rode the elevator to the seventeenth floor in their AES coveralls with their respective equipment stashed in toolboxes marked with the electric company\\u2019s logo.\\xa0
Only the seventeenth floor didn\\u2019t look like the pictures in Richter\\u2019s packet.
The three men panned their flashlights around the darkened space. Penn noticed the painter\\u2019s drop clothes on the floor and the paper that masked the windows from the overspray first. Then he noticed the lack of overspray. Where there were supposed to be apartments, there was only exposed pipes, conduit, and two-by-fours marking off their future locations. Not only were the units unlived in, but they were nowhere near being ready to paint.
\\u201cAnyone else got a bad feeling about this?\\u201d Penn asked.
\\u201cZip it,\\u201d the larger man on the crew said in a voice like shattering glass\\u2014high and coarse with an accent of the danger it brought. \\u201cMaybe we got the wrong floor.\\u201d
\\u201cYeah, I\\u2019m sure that\\u2019s it,\\u201d the other reassured him. Sweat beaded his brow above the snake tattoo that cut down the left side of his face. \\u201cWe just got off on the wrong floor.\\u201d
\\u201cYou\\u2019re both idiots,\\u201d Penn grunted. \\u201cUnless we\\u2019re stealing power tools, we\\u2019re in the wrong building. The package said this place was fully rented.\\u201d
\\u201cObviously they didn\\u2019t count the floors that were under construction,\\u201d the big one said.
Penn leaned on the frame of a future kitchen counter and dug the bag of gummi worms from his pocket. \\u201cWhen one of you geniuses figures out which floor we\\u2019re supposed to be on, let me know. How about that?\\u201d
\\u201cWhat are you doing?\\u201d the man with the face tat asked.
\\u201cTaking lunch.\\u201d Penn put a pair of the delectable worms in his mouth. He shook the bag in his direction. \\u201cI should probably share since it\\u2019s Give Something Away Day.\\u201d
\\u201cThat a real thing?\\u201d Snake-face asked.
\\u201cOf course.\\u201d Penn swallowed half the mouthful. \\u201cIt\\u2019s also Gummi Worm Day. No one thinks the drop clothes are out of place?\\u201d
\\u201cThey\\u2019re in the perfect place,\\u201d someone said.\\xa0
The words carried through the darkened hallway like a chill breeze'