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b'Episode Notes
After betraying his ex-girl a young man discovers that there truly is no fury like a woman scored!
People Can Lick Too by Rob Fields
Music by Ray Mattis
http://raymattispresents.bandcamp.com
Produced by Daniel Wilder
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Transcription:
I was having some hot sex with my girlfriend, Jensen Mirren, in my bedroom at the house. We came here to finish our date. I\\u2019d been seeing Jensen since the start of junior year at Strickfield University, about three months after I broke up with Silvia Charmer. Man! Fuuuuuuuuccccccckkkkkk!! Just thinking about that creepy girl . . . !
Suddenly, I felt Jensen shove me off her. I fell to the floor and was greeted by my dog Sparky, who was usually lying underneath my bed. I got up and saw Jensen\\u2019s angry look.
\\u201cYou\\u2019re thinking about her again, Zach!\\u201d she snapped.\\xa0
\\u201cI wasn\\u2019t \\u2013\\u201d I started to protest.\\xa0
\\u201cYes, you were!\\u201d she interrupted. \\u201cI know, because you don\\u2019t make love to me with passion whenever you\\u2019re thinking about her.\\u201d She looked at me like she\\u2019d just found out I was still sleeping with Silvia. I mean I wasn\\u2019t! That was just how she looked. \\u201cI know I\\u2019m not as hot as her, I get it.\\u201d
I got back on the bed with her. A tear was streaming down her cheek. \\u201cWhy do you still love her, Zach? You\\u2019re with me, but you still love her. Why?!\\u201d
I quickly snatched Jensen to me. \\u201cI don\\u2019t love her! I love you!\\u201d
Jensen shook her head quickly. \\u201cNo . . . ! No, you still keep thinking about Silvia.\\u201d
Jensen pulled away from me and got off the bed. She grabbed her clothes and got dressed. Then she stormed out. I could hear her crying as she reached the front door and left.\\xa0
Sigh . . . !\\xa0
Jensen was wrong. Okay, yes, I still thought about Silvia Charmer, but not because I was still madly in love with her. Yes, Jenson was right about Silvia being one nicely stacked girl. I mean, Silvia was both hot and wild. Just seeing her flaming red hair and glowing green eyes was enough to put you under her spell. I mean, Silvia could have had any guy she wanted, but she had her eyes on me the day we started our freshman year at Strickfield University.\\xa0
It started with us talking. Then it was a coffee date. Then we were at her house and in her bed \\u2013 right after the coffee date! For almost two years, the two of us burned each other\\u2019s beds from all the hot sex we were having. And I know what you\\u2019re thinking . . . Why would I break up with someone as sizzling as Silvia Charmer? I\\u2019m sure you\\u2019d quickly point out that she\\u2019s also rich and independent. But it\\u2019s what you don\\u2019t know!
One day, after sophomore year was over, Silvia invited me to her house to spend the afternoon with her. Her plan was for us to hang out at her indoor pool. I got to her house and let myself in like she texted me to do. I knew I\\u2019d find her in her bedroom. When I did find her, I about shit myself! She was lying on her bed in her bikini . . .\\xa0
And she had fucking snakes moving all over her body!!
Yeah, that\\u2019s right! She had several snakes hissing and slithering all over her body! They weren\\u2019t just any household snakes, neither \\u2013 if there is such a thing. The first one I noticed was the rattlesnake on her belly. I knew another one was a black mamba, because we\\u2019d just seen one in the zoology lab on the other side of Strickfield University during a class. I\\u2019ll never forget that king cobra that was rubbing up against the side of her face. And don\\u2019t even get me started on that huge boa constrictor.\\xa0
When I gasped, the snakes looked at me \\u2013 all at once! They didn\\u2019t move to attack me, though. Silvia just sat up casually. \\u201cOh, hi, Zach.\\u201d Then she picked up the king cobra \\u2013 like anybody could have easily done it! That was the whole creepy thing right there. None of those fucking snakes ever once attacked Silvia.\\xa0
I didn\\u2019t give Silvia time to explain. I just turned and got the fuck out of that house and never looked back. In fact, I never went to Silvia\\u2019s part of town ever again.\\xa0
Silvia tried to get with me to explain, but I didn\\u2019t want to hear her. I blocked her number on my phone. I blocked her on social media. I wouldn\\u2019t see her when she came to my house. I even avoided her on campus. I just wasn\\u2019t going to deal with her creepy shit. It had taken a few months before Silvia finally got the hint. Or so I thought . . .
Getting to Jensen Mirren, I ended up taking a liking to her when she was assigned as my lab partner in my zoology class at the start of junior year. Things started off about the same as with Silvia: just talking, a coffee date . . . But this time, we went on a few actual real dates before we started sleeping together. I also found out later that this girl was rich, too. Now, I don\\u2019t want you thinking I only dated rich girls. That was just how things turned out.
Silvia Charmer soon came back into the picture. She found out I was seeing Jensen and decided to confront me. In fact, she surprised me in one of the campus science labs. I stayed late on Friday afternoon to get some work done. I didn\\u2019t even see she\\u2019d come into the lab until she was a good six feet away. And wouldn\\u2019t you know it? She was cradling one of her fucking snakes \\u2013 a copperhead!\\xa0
Silvia\\u2019s green eyes practically burned right through me. \\u201cSo this is how it is, Zach? I really thought you were a decent guy, but you\\u2019re just like all the others. The second you find out what my . . . one flaw is, you just turn tail and run. Not only run, but run right into another girl\\u2019s waiting tits.\\u201d
I staggered back when the copperhead looked right at me and started to move. \\u201cOh, shit!\\u201d
Silvia turned and gently put the snake down on one of the tables beside her. Petting its head, she told it, \\u201cYou behave now, Coppy, and stay right here.\\u201d
The snake just looked right at her, as if it understood exactly what Silvia told it to do. Then Silvia turned her attention back to me. \\u201cNow, we\\u2019re going to talk things through here. We were together for two years. You owe me that!\\u201d
I laid it out for her and told her how she creeped me out with her snakes. I drilled her by asking if she let her snakes roam free in her house. I even asked her what would have happened if one of them would have bit me while we would have been making love at her house.\\xa0
Silvia looked pissed. \\u201cSo . . . you dumped me just because of my snakes? My snakes are my pets, my friends. Nobody loves, appreciates, and understands snakes the way I do. My babies would never have hurt you in any way. Not unless you tried to hurt me, or them.\\u201d Her eyes burned right through me again. \\u201cI did nothing wrong, except love you with all my heart and soul for two years. When I finally decided to reveal this part of who I am to you, you fucking turned your back on me! You really hurt me, Zach! Badly! Is that all I ever was to you, hot sex?\\u201d
I shook my head. \\u201cIt wasn\\u2019t like that, Silvia! I really loved you! But seeing you like that, with those snakes all over you . . . I\\u2019m sorry, but I just can\\u2019t be with you.\\u201d
I didn\\u2019t realize how dangerously close Silvia was to me now. Her face was just a few inches from mine. Her arms gently wrapped around me. Before I knew it, those amazingly soft lips were right on mine. My mind drifted back to our first kiss after our coffee date. It was exactly like this. My arms moved around her on their own. I couldn\\u2019t stop kissing her. Then I felt her tongue slithering into my mouth.\\xa0
I cried out in terror and shoved her so hard that she fell onto her side. I pointed down at her. \\u201cGet the fuck away from me!\\u201d Then her snake lifted itself and hissed loudly at me, making me scream.\\xa0
I picked up a lab pan and smashed the snake with it. I didn\\u2019t even hear Silvia\\u2019s screams or protests. When the snake fell on the floor, I stomped on its head and crushed it. I didn\\u2019t stop stomping it until I knew for sure it was dead. My heart never pounded so hard in my entire life.\\xa0
I turned to look at Silvia. Tears were streaming down her face as she slowly pulled herself up. \\u201cYou bastard! You fucking son of a bitch!\\u201d
Silvia lashed out and shoved me as hard as she could. Now I was on the floor. \\u201cAnd to think I still loved you and wanted you back!\\u201d She lowered herself and gently cradled her bloody, dead snake into her arms. \\u201cCoppy . . .\\u201d she sobbed.\\xa0
Silvia looked back at me, her eyes burned through me \\u2013 hotter than ever. \\u201cHurting me was one thing, but you crossed the line today, Zach.\\u201d Then she screamed, \\u201cI fucking hate you! I will get revenge on you for Coppy!\\u201d
She sobbed again as she left with her dead snake.\\xa0
Funny thing . . . Ever since that day, Jensen had really been acting strange. She seemed more possessive now. She didn\\u2019t wait for me to ask her out anymore. She\\u2019d come and approach me for dates. She even got more aggressive in the bedroom. She\\u2019d gotten to the point to where she would actually grab my hair or run her nails down my back when we\\u2019d fuck.\\xa0
I was on my bed and kept thinking about everything that had happened that day in the lab with Silvia and her snake. I let my arm drop off the bed. When I felt something wet brush across my fingers, I gasped and quickly got off the bed and stood at the doorway. A few seconds later, I saw the head of my dog rise from the other side of the bed.\\xa0
\\u201cJesus, Sparky!\\u201d I got back on the bed and let my German Shepherd climb up and lay down with me. Then I scratched his head the way I knew he liked it. \\u201cCrazy dog, always underneath my bed.\\u201d
But no matter how many times Sparky was underneath my bed and licking my hand, I could never forget how Silvia\\u2019s eyes just kept burning through me whenever we crossed paths on campus. She said she\\u2019d get revenge on me for killing her snake. And now I also had to deal with Jensen\\u2019s possessiveness. The last time Jensen and I fucked, she grabbed my hair and literally slammed my head into the'