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b'Episode Notes
A hot date turns blood cold when things don\'t get exactly as you\'d expect for this romance of a lifetime...
Boy Meets Ghoul by Rob Fields
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Music by Ray Mattis http://raymattispresents.bandcamp.com
Produced by Daniel Wilder
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Transcript:
Christian Shaeffer was having lunch with his friends outside at Clancy\\u2019s, a popular fast-food place among North Ridgeway High School students. The four of them were on the football team, talking about whatever. Then the subject of Christian\\u2019s upcoming date came up.
\\u201cHey, how come you\\u2019re not telling us you got a date for Saturday night?\\u201d Eric Danvers asked. \\u201cHow come we gotta hear about these things from Chelsea?\\u201d
Christian groaned. \\u201cWhy does my little sister always have to be such a pain?\\u201d
\\u201cSo about this date of yours . . .\\u201d Matthew Martinson inquired.
Jeffrey \\u201cMoose\\u201d Keegan put his hands up to his pecs and pretended to squeeze. \\u201cDoes she have tits?\\u201d he rumbled.
Christian groaned again. \\u201cMan, Moose, you may be the biggest guy on our football team, but you got the dirtiest mind, too.\\u201d
Moose grinned mischievously. \\u201cHey, a girl\\u2019s gotta have tits, brother. That\\u2019s just the way us men are. The bigger, the better . . .\\u201d
\\u201cYou do realize you\\u2019re probably going to die alone, right?\\u201d Christian asked, half-serious.
Moose reached out and playfully shoved Christian\\u2019s shoulder. \\u201cC\\u2019mon, bro! Quit holding out here! Who is she? What\\u2019s she like?\\u201d He grinned mischievously again. \\u201cAnd does she have tits?\\u201d
When Christian realized his football brothers weren\\u2019t going to back off, he finally conceded. \\u201cFine, you bastards . . . Her name is Chloe Anne Carmichael. I met her when we had our game with Strickfield High here a few weeks ago.\\u201d
\\u201cWhoa, dude! You\\u2019re really going out with a chick from Strickfield?\\u201d Eric asked. \\u201cIsn\\u2019t that like . . . I don\\u2019t know . . . dating the enemy or something?\\u201d
Christian pointed to him. \\u201cIt ain\\u2019t no different than that cheerleader you\\u2019re seeing from Pendleton High.\\u201d
Eric raised his hands up in front of him. \\u201cOkay, okay . . .\\u201d
Christian continued. \\u201cSo, we just beat Strickfield High and finished our showers. I was all set to get in my car and head out. Then I saw this other car with the hood up . . . and a girl underneath it. I went over to help her. Then she came out from under the hood and looked at me. I swear, she looks like she\\u2019s right out of the 50s! I mean she\\u2019s wearing a red-and-white polka-dot dress that goes down just past her knees. She\\u2019s even wearing those black-and-white shoes. You know . . . with the black across the middle.\\u201d He pointed to Matthew. \\u201cYour older sister has shoes like that.\\u201d
\\u201cYeah, she does. Except Bethany\\u2019s into the 60s,\\u201d Matthew shared. \\u201cOkay, go on.\\u201d
Christian pointed quickly at Matthew. \\u201cAnd she looks exactly like Betty! From those Betty and Veronica comics your sister loves to read!\\u201d
Moose shot up out of his seat. \\u201cOh, come on! What, you think we\\u2019re stupid or something? There ain\\u2019t no girl who looks like she\\u2019s right outta \\u2013\\u201d
But Christian shut him up when he brought up her picture on his smartphone and let everybody look at it for a moment. \\u201cNow do you believe me?\\u201d
\\u201cDamn! She really does look like Betty,\\u201d Matthew agreed. \\u201cWait\\u2019ll Bethany hears about this.\\u201d
Moose leaned in. \\u201cThis is just her face. Does she have tits?\\u201d
Christian groaned. \\u201cOkay, Moose! Yes! Okay? She\\u2019s a girl, and girls have tits. Okay?\\u201d
Moose grinned. \\u201cBut are they big ones?\\u201d
Christian gave him the finger, getting a laugh from everybody. Then he got back to the subject. \\u201cAnyway, she had a loose wire under the hood. I fixed it for her. Then we got to talking for a while. We got each other\\u2019s phone numbers. We started texting and video chatting. Now we got a date for Saturday night. I\\u2019m going to pick her up at her place. She lives in the woods with her family just outside Strickfield.\\u201d
Then everybody just looked at Christian.
Christian just looked at everybody in return. \\u201cWhat?!\\u201d
\\u201cMan, you got your head up your ass or something?\\u201d Eric asked. \\u201cDon\\u2019t you know there are stories about those backwoods of Strickfield? You don\\u2019t want to be heading in there \\u2013 especially at night.\\u201d
Christian groaned. \\u201cSeriously, what\\u2019s there to be scared of in those woods? I mean, come on . . . Strickfield\\u2019s own mayor lives in those woods. He still makes it to work every day, right?\\u201d
Matthew pointed at him. \\u201cBut there have been stories about things that have happened in those woods. Stories about people dying out there . . . and even a few of them coming back to life. And then there are the stories about creatures lurking around in there. And even cannibals! There are just stories on top of stories.\\u201d
Eric pointed to Christian\\u2019s smartphone. \\u201cYou should just text her and cancel, or have her meet you somewhere.\\u201d
Christian groaned again. \\u201cCome on, you guys! Really?! All those stories are just superstitious horseshit. I\\u2019m going on my date with Chloe Anne Carmichael on Saturday \\u2013 end of discussion!\\u201d
Almost nobody said much of anything after Christian\\u2019s declaration. Even when they finished their lunches and headed back to North Ridgeway High for their afternoon classes . . .
Christian was driving through the woods on Saturday night and following the directions that his smartphone\\u2019s GPS was giving him. Christian did have to admit these woods near Strickfield did look quite spooky and seemed to stretch on for miles and miles. Or maybe it was just the consistent fog that had a foreboding presence seemingly everywhere. Still, he was willing to suffer a few heebie jeebies to get to Chloe Anne Carmichael\\u2019s house.
\\u201cPrepare to turn left on Township Road 34 in one quarter mile!\\u201d
Christian gasped and pointed a shaky finger at his smartphone. Then he shook his head slowly. He couldn\\u2019t believe how he\\u2019d let his football brothers get to him. This wasn\\u2019t Halloween, for crying out loud! This was a date with a really hot girl who just happened to look like a hot classic female comic book character. Still, he kept his head on and made the turn when his GPS told him to. It wasn\\u2019t much longer after that when he had finally reached his destination.
Christian just sat in the car when he saw the Carmichael farmhouse. There were barely any lights on inside, and the fog really seemed murky and dismal around the farmhouse and huge yard. He even saw some cars that had been gathered near the barn. He started to wonder if anyone was even home. He was almost wondering if maybe he should just turn the car around and head back to North Ridgeway.
Suddenly, the porch room at the front entrance came ablaze with light. And then the door opened. Christian felt his spirits lift when he saw Chloe Anne Carmichael step outside. He got out of the car and went to meet her.
\\u201cChloe Anne, hi!\\u201d Christian said. \\u201cI hope I\\u2019m not late. It\\u2019s a bit foggy out here.\\u201d
Christian thought Chloe Anne was truly breathtaking. She was wearing the very same red dress with white polka dots and those same shoes from the night he had first met her. She wore her blond hair down; the last time she wore it in a ponytail. For a brief moment, he remembered Moose talking about tits and noticed that Chloe Anne weren\'t too badly stacked.
Chloe Anne pointed to the car. \\u201cCould you shut that off for a smiggen? My parents wanna meet you.\\u201d
\\u201cUh-oh . . .\\u201d Christian uttered jokingly.
Chloe Anne smiled. \\u201cOh, ain\\u2019t nothin\\u2019 weird. They just wanna know who I\\u2019m goin\\u2019 out with tonight.\\u201d She sighed. \\u201cThey wanna know who they gotta shoot ifin you don\\u2019t bring me back home on time.\\u201d
When Christian looked at her with wide eyes, she burst out laughing. \\u201cAhm just kiddin\\u2019, silly. My parents still wanna meet ya, though.\\u201d
Christian obeyed Chloe Anne and was soon in the living room where the rest of the Carmichael family was seated. Her parents were in recliners and a younger girl sat on the couch.
Mr. Carmichael gestured to the couch. \\u201cHave a seat, son.\\u201d
As soon as both he and Chloe Anne were seated, Mr. Carmichael spoke to Christian again. \\u201cLook, Ah don\\u2019t know what yer intentions are with my eldest daughter here. But Ahm gonna trust her decision on ya.\\u201d
Christian quickly raised his hands up in front of him. \\u201cSir, I just want to take Chloe Anne out on a date. I\\u2019ll have her back whenever you say she\\u2019s got to be back. Seriously, I really like her and just want to get to know her. That\\u2019s all.\\u201d
Both parents studied him for a moment. Even the youngest daughter, Hannah, just gave him an odd look. Also, he didn\\u2019t want to let his football brothers get the best of him, but he could swear . . . that they were all a little pale. Even Chloe Anne . . . Again, he was not going to let the guys get to him about the backwoods of Strickfield legends.
Mr. Carmichael seemed to consider Christian. \\u201cOkay! Again, Ah trust my baby girl here. Chloe Anne\\u2019s old enough to know what she\\u2019s doin\\u2019. She seems to be real into you too.\\u201d
Then he said to Chloe Anne, \\u201cYou sure he\\u2019s whatcha want, darlin\\u2019?\\u201d
Chloe Anne smiled from ear to ear. \\u201cOh, ah do. Ah do ah do ah do . . .\\u201d
Mr. Carmichael clapped his hands together once. \\u201cOkay, then! You youngins have yourselves a good time tonight!\\u201d
\\u201cUm, what time do you want me to have her back by, Sir?\\u201d Christian asked.
Mr. Carmichael just looked at him and smiled. \\u201cAh really do appreciate ya callin\\u2019 me Sir. Yes, I do.\\u201d Then he seemed to think. \\u201cWell . . . now Ahd say that be up to the botha ya. \\u2019Cause Ah git the feelin\\u2019 your really gonna get to know my baby girl real well \\u2013 real soon!\\u201d He waved them off. \\u201cOutcha go! Have fun!\\u201d
Christian wondered what he might have gotten himself into, but he quickly drove that thought out of his head when'