I was thrilled to have the chance to talk with Alfie Kohn about parenting and differently wired kids and dig into the concepts that many consider highly provocative and controversial because in many ways they are a radical departure from more traditional approaches to parenting, praise, rewards, punishments, discipline, and motivation.\nIf you haven\u2019t been exposed to Alfie\u2019s work before, I encourage you to listen with an open mind and curiosity. Some of the concepts he shares today may challenge your ideas about raising kids, but if you know me, I deeply believe there is value is reconsidering everything we thought we knew about parenting. After having this conversation with Alfie, I became even more aware of things I was doing that I wanted to tweak as a way to better support Asher\u2019s growth, and I\u2019ve already noticed a difference in what\u2019s happening in my family dynamic. I hope you get out a lot out of our conversation.\n\xa0\nAlfie Kohn writes and speaks widely on human behavior, education, and parenting. The author of fourteen books and scores of articles, he lectures at education conferences and universities as well as to parent groups and corporations. Kohn\u2019s criticisms of competition and rewards have been widely discussed and debated, and he has been described in Time magazine as \u201cperhaps the country\u2019s most outspoken critic of education\u2019s fixation on grades [and] test scores.\u201d\n\xa0\nThings you\u2019ll learn from this episode\n\nWhat \u201cunconditional parenting\u201d looks like\n\nWhy Alfie believes a goal of raising compliant kids is misguided\n\nWhat the science says about rewards and punishments and why they tend to lead to the opposite result we\u2019re going for\n\nThe potential downsides of positive reinforcement and \u201cpraise\u201d in relation to supporting our children\u2019s development and personal growth\n\nThe difference between love and unconditional love, and why the latter is what we want our children to feel\n\nThe importance of focusing on long-term versus short-term goals for our children\n\nAlfie\u2019s advice for where parents can start today when it comes to working toward a more unconditional parenting approach\n\n\xa0\nResources mentioned about unconditional parenting\n\nAlfie Kohn\u2019s website\n\n\nUnconditional Parenting: Moving from Rewards and Punishment to Love and Reason\xa0by Alfie Kohn\n\n\nPunished by Rewards: The Trouble with Gold Stars, Incentive Plans, A\u2019s, Praise, and Other Bribes\xa0by Alfie Kohn\n\n\nThe Myth of the Spoiled Child: Coddled Kids, Helicopter Parents, and Other Phony Crises by Alfie Kohn\n\nSupport the showConnect with Tilt Parenting\n Visit Tilt Parenting\n Take the free 7-Day Challenge \n Read a chapter of Differently Wired \n Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram \n \nLearn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices