Stories about the politics of marriage and their psycho"therapy."
People are drawn to each\xa0other for many reasons including physical and sexual attraction, surface personality, and a variety of psychological needs. Long term relationships such as marriages and friendships are often based on love where the needs of the other become as or even more important than one's own. Good long term relationships (as I judge good\xa0to be according to my own values)\xa0often mean that people like and respect each\xa0other\xa0as well as love each other, share numerous interests and provide comfort and support to the degree that they are needed and can be given. A good relationship\xa0includes a me, a you, and an us!All relationships are comprised of individuals and as such all relationships\xa0contain conflict. Good relationships allow for individuality and solve conflicts through negotiation and mutual respect. Democratic politics define the good relationship. In my long years of professional experience many relationships lose their love,\xa0joy and mutual liking and respect when\xa0conflicts are solved through authoritarian means or become anarchistic. In dictatorships the "me" and the "you" become "me", in anarchies the "us" ceases to exist. Psycho"therapy" is the process whereby democratic politics are restored or created allowing individuals to live as a "me" a "you"\xa0and and\xa0"us" without threat, victimization, demonization blame, self pity and especially\xa0blackmail. Finally, I put quotation marks around the word therapy because learning how to solve conflict has little to do with illness, healing, and medical procedures.