Dont Let Holiday Spending Ruin Your Relationship

Published: Dec. 14, 2016, 6:33 p.m.

b'With David Maxfield, Author, Consultant to Fortune 500 companies, and VP of Research at VitalSmarts.com,\\xa0Crucial Accountability, Influencer, and Change Anything
Along with tidings of comfort and joy, the holidays often bring unwelcome stress over holiday spending. How do we avoid blowing it all by Black Friday\\u2026and how can we talk to our spouse or partner in a way that doesn\\u2019t end up in rancor and discord?
The author of three New York Times Bestsellers, Crucial Accountability, Influencer, and Change Anything, consultant to Fortune 500 companies, and VP of Research at VitalSmarts.com, David Maxfield unwraps the secret to talking about holiday finances, staying on financial track, and maintaining your holiday cheer.
The holiday money pit
Money is a strange bedfellow; having the \\u201cmoney talk\\u201d with our loved ones, whether it\\u2019s our children, aging parents, or our partners, propels us into emotional territory where the stakes are often quite high. It just strikes a raw nerve with most people.
When it comes to agreeing on a budget for holiday spending, David refers to research that reveals the three ways people are most inclined to react:

* Change the subject and avoid the conversation.
* Lie about what things cost.
* Hide the items altogether.

And over half the people in the survey admitted to spending $500 or more over what they had agreed upon with their spouse. It\\u2019s easy to see that serious conflicts could arise.
Coming to terms instead of coming to blows
So how should you go about avoiding a conflict over this? David says the first thing is to start early, perhaps as early as before Thanksgiving\\u2014sit down, come up with a budget, and establish financial ground rules.
After that happens, if one partner goes off the rails, it\\u2019s critical for the health of the relationship to discover why the overspending has occurred. If he or she has rented a storage unit to hide the purchases or continually lies about it, then the focus comes down to one of trust, which is a much bigger issue.
Whether it\\u2019s spending for the holidays or any other time of the year, acknowledging the emotional component of talking about money within a relationship is important. You have to be able to approach your partner without him or her becoming defensive, which is not easy in what David refers to as our \\u201cvery low ac...'