When It's Hard To Connect, Try Being Curious

Published: Dec. 7, 2023, 11 a.m.

Join our limited newsletter The Science of Habits to get curated, science-backed tips to help make your New Years resolution stick in 2024.

\n\n

https://ggsc.berkeley.edu/podcasts/habits

\n\n

When we're more curious, we are more likely to be happier and have stronger relationships. Try deepening your curiosity with these science-backed practices from author Scott Shigeoka.

\n\n

Link to episode transcript: https://tinyurl.com/276u4yxu

\n\n
\n\n

Episode summary:

\n\n

As a cardiologist and immigrant in the United States, Stephanie Hsiao has always placed an emphasis on advancing her skills in order to succeed. So when she received the diagnosis that her son was neurodiverse, Stephanie went immediately into action mode to help her son \u2014 but she felt like she was missing something. For our show, Stephanie tried a practice to cultivate \u201cdeep curiosity,\u201d and found that a curious outlook helped her to check her assumptions about parenting and discover her son\u2019s strengths and interests. Later, we hear from curiosity expert Scott Shigeoka about the difference between shallow and deep curiosity, and how it can help us forge stronger connections with others.

\n\n

Practice:

\n\n
    \n
  1. Before engaging in curiosity: Slow down, focus on your breathing. Set an intention to focus on curiosity and maybe visualize yourself being curious.

  2. \n
  3. While in conversation: Be open to being wrong, continuously check your assumptions, and actively turn towards those who are seeking your attention.

  4. \n
  5. Going forward: Make commitments to yourself and with others to engage in difficult, but open-minded interactions.

  6. \n
\n\n
\n\n

Today\u2019s guests:

\n\n

Stephanie Hsiao is a mother and cardiologist based in San Francisco, California.

\n\n
\n\n

Scott Shigeoka is an author and storyteller who focuses on themes of curiosity and well-being.

\n\n

Order Scott Shigeoka\u2019s book Seek: How Curiosity can Transform Your Life and Save the World: https://tinyurl.com/4jrxbupj

\n\n

Learn More About Scott\u2019s work: https://tinyurl.com/y5xyxky7

\n\n

Follow Scott on Instagram: https://tinyurl.com/3acu6jhm

\n\n

Follow Scott on Twitter: https://tinyurl.com/3m3k3bm9

\n\n
\n\n

Resources from The Greater Good Science Center:

\n\n

Six Surprising Benefits of Curiosity: https://tinyurl.com/7kcr32su

\n\n

How to Stay Open and Curious in Hard Conversations: https://tinyurl.com/y2f2e9ce

\n\n

Why Curious People Have Better Relationships: https://tinyurl.com/2xw5y9yr

\n\n

Does Curiosity Have a Dark Side? https://tinyurl.com/5n88wzyd

\n\n

How Curiosity Can Help Us Overcome Disconnection: https://tinyurl.com/9kaas6nz

\n\n
\n\n

More Resources on Curiosity:

\n\n

BBC - Curiosity: The neglected trait that drives success: https://tinyurl.com/38bubaak

\n\n

Harvard - A Curious Mind: https://tinyurl.com/324hyzv4

\n\n


\nTED - How Curiosity Will Save Us: https://tinyurl.com/muswe2y5

\n\n
\n\n

Tell us about your experience with being curious. Email us at happinesspod@berkeley.edu or use the hashtag #happinesspod.

\n\n

Help us share The Science of Happiness!

\n\n

Rate us on Spotify and share this link with someone who might like the show: https://tinyurl.com/m6aezjce

\n\n

This episode was supported by a grant from the John Templeton Foundation, as part of our project on "Expanding Awareness of the Science of Intellectual Humility." To learn more, go to https://tinyurl.com/2dj6hw29