How To Feel Better About Yourself
Self-compassion reduces our feelings of shame and self-doubt. We explore a practice to help quiet our inner critic with kindness.
\n\nLink to episode transcript: https://tinyurl.com/ytek6jxk
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Episode summary:
\n\nWhat does your inner critic sound like? For Ren\xe9 Brooks, it\u2019s the adults who misunderstood her ADHD symptoms as a child, before she was diagnosed later in life. For our show, Ren\xe9 tried a self-compassionate writing exercise that helped her re-examine how she treats herself in difficult situations. She highlights why self-compassion is so important for marginalized communities in particular, and how as a Black woman, she puts double the pressure on herself to achieve and has come to use shame and self-judgment to motivate herself. The practice helps her to disrupt that tendency by noticing the way she speaks to herself and learning to take a more compassionate tone, instead. Later, we hear from psychologist Serena Chen, who expands on how cultivating self-compassion can help us embrace our true selves, which can lead to greater life satisfaction, increased well-being and closer social relationships.
\n\nPractice:
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Think of something that makes you feel guilty, ashamed or insecure.
\nNotice how you feel and write down your emotions.
\nImagine someone who loves you unconditionally and write a letter to yourself from their perspective, using the tone they would use with you, and expressing acceptance and understanding. Acknowledge that no one is perfect and there are likely many people struggling with the very same thing you are.
\nIn a compassionate way, ask yourself whether there are things that you could do to improve or better cope with this negative aspect. Focus on how constructive changes could make you feel happier, healthier, or more fulfilled, and avoid judging yourself.
\nTry to complete the practice on a weekly or monthly basis.
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Learn more about this practice at Greater Good In Action:
\n\nhttps://ggia.berkeley.edu/practice/self_compassionate_letter
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Today\u2019s guests:
\n\nRen\xe9 Brooks is the creator of the blog Black Girl, Lost Keys. She draws on her personal experiences to coach and assist adults with ADHD.
\n\nVisit Ren\xe9\u2019s Blog: https://blackgirllostkeys.com/
\n\nFollow Ren\xe9 on Twitter: https://tinyurl.com/2p9caj5v
\n\nFollow Ren\xe9 on Instagram: https://tinyurl.com/3a96882u
\n\nFollow Ren\xe9 on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/blackgirllostkeys/
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Serena Chen is the Chair of the Psychology department at UC Berkeley. Her research is focused on self-compassion, wellbeing and social interaction.
\n\nLearn more about Serena and her work: https://tinyurl.com/mry3vx3v
\n\nFollow Serena on Google Scholar: https://tinyurl.com/3btm3jn8
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Resources from The Greater Good Science Center:
\n\nThe Five Myths of Self-Compassion: https://tinyurl.com/4tfp7d73
\n\nWhy Self-Compassion Trumps Self-Esteem: https://tinyurl.com/5a6phdx3
\n\nWhy Is Self-Compassion So Hard for Some People? https://tinyurl.com/2x4v3r72
\n\nThe Three Components of Self-Compassion: https://tinyurl.com/mwa2zddp
\n\nWant to Change your Life? Try Self-Compassion: https://tinyurl.com/2y2ryc6m
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More Resources on Self-Compassion
\n\nHappiness Break: How to Be Your Own Best Friend, with Kristin Neff:\xa0 https://tinyurl.com/3fj4yfrn
\n\nTED - Dare to rewire your brain for self-compassion: https://tinyurl.com/yc2ru73p
\n\nHarvard Health - The power of self-compassion: https://tinyurl.com/yc7usmx5
\n\nBBC - Why self-compassion \u2013 not self-esteem \u2013 leads to success: https://tinyurl.com/yj2zax8x
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How have you tried practicing self-compassion? Email us at happinesspod@berkeley.edu or use the hashtag #happinesspod to tell us about it.
\n\nHelp us share The Science of Happiness! Rate and follow us on Spotify, and share this episode with a friend: https://tinyurl.com/4uyr2w35