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This is the Babylon Bee weekly news podcast for the week of 3/18/2020.

In this episode of The Babylon Bee podcast, editor-in-chief Kyle Mann and creative director Ethan Nicolle discuss the week\u2019s big stories like how our entire society has turned upside down and now the nerds rule, the rise of black markets in hand sanitizer, and how churches our delivering communion elements via drone. They then discuss how we shouldn\u2019t be afraid of coronavirus and how the entire world is under God\u2019s control.

In the subscriber portion, Kyle and Ethan mull over rejected headlines from subscribers and some of the writers. It\u2019s another exciting segment of \u2018Almost A Headline!\u2019.

Pre-order the new Babylon Bee Best-Of Coffee Table Book coming in 2020!

Show Outline

Introduction - Kyle and Ethan talk about heroes as a recurring motif in rock songs, Ethan\u2019s wife video chats Ethan from the furniture store, and the guys discuss how people seem to be doing home improvement projects during this coronavirus shutdown.

Story 1 - Nation's Nerds Wake Up In Utopia Where Everyone Stays Inside, Sports Are Canceled, Social Interaction Forbidden

• Italy Totally Fine Thanks To Universal Healthcare System

  • (From Snopes) The article references a document drawn up by health officials in Turin, a city in Northern Italy hit hard by the virus, with guidelines for if and when \u201cIt becomes impossible to provide all patients with intensive care service.\u201d In such a case, the document says, \u201cIt will be necessary to apply criteria for access to intensive treatment, which depends on the limited resources available.\u201d

  • \xa0\u2018The criteria for access to intensive therapy in cases of emergency must include age of less than 80 or a score on the Charlson comorbidity Index [which indicates how many other medical conditions the patient has] of less than 5.'

Story 2 -\xa0 Drug Cartels Switch To Producing Hand Sanitizer

• Ethan and Kyle act out an episode of 'Breaking Purell.'

Story 3 - Churches Switch To Remote Drone Delivery For Communion

Topic of the Week - Latest Numbers On Coronavirus: 100% Of World Still Under God's Control

Everything-- even church-- being shut down from Coronavirus. \u201cDo not be afraid.\u201d- Jesus

Love Mail/Hate Mail/ Feedback -\xa0A dramatic slam poetry minute with Dave DeAndrea. You can not miss this beatnik slam poem sesh!\xa0

Paid-subscriber portion (Starts at 00:53:25)

Kyle and Ethan laugh and mull over rejected headlines from subscribers and the writers.

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