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A lot of people who come in and seek treatment for addiction are carrying complex trauma from growing up in a narcissistic family structure. And for a lot of people who have grown up in narcissistic families, it can be hard to see the patterns that are there.\xa0\nEveryone has a level of healthy narcissism. We all see things through our lens to some degree. The narcissist, however, has pathological levels of self-involvement and he or she experiences fundamental developmental deficits early on in life.\nOn today\u2019s episode, Duane speaks with Julie Hall, author of \u201cThe Narcissist In Your Life: Recognizing the Patterns and Learning to Break Free,\u201d to talk about narcissism. Released in December 2019, the book aims to examine narcissistic personality disorder and how it affects the people close to a narcissist. Julie does an excellent job of breaking it down and pulling the pieces apart so people will have more clarity around this type of disorder.\nAn educational writer, poet, and journalist, Julie comes from a narcissistic family as well. While working on her memoirs, she came to realize that narcissism had been a major theme throughout her life, so she shifted gears and began to write specifically about narcissism. This became part of Julie\u2019s healing process.\nJulie has a popular blog called The Narcissist Family Files, and you can find the articles that she writes regularly in Psychology Today. She also has articles in The HuffPost and various other places on the internet.\xa0\nIn this episode, you will hear:\n\nWhat motivated Julie to write the book\n\nThe narcissistic family\n\nThe traits of a narcissist\n\nAddiction and narcissism\n\nComing out of the denial mechanism\n\nWhy you need to be careful when seeking a therapist\n\nThe importance of educating yourself about narcissistic personality disorder\n\nKey Quotes:\n[03:14] - "There are differences unique to a narcissistic family as opposed to an alcoholic family or an addicted family."\n[13:23] - \u201cAddiction is a huge part of this whole narcissistic family system... people coming out of families like this are dysregulated themselves, and they are carrying complex trauma."\n[16:20] - "The first step is coming out of denial, taking a hard look at that origin family and those parents, and being willing to acknowledge the ways in which they hurt us and couldn't love us."\n[17:26] - "Some have had a series of failures with therapists who didn't understand the realities, narcissistic abuse, trauma, what that looks like and what that feels like."\n[17:41] - "The narcissistic personality will not take responsibility for their behavior. They will not self-reflect. They will not acknowledge fault or flaw, or any kind of behavior that hurts other people, and they don't have that empathy. They don't care."\n[20:49] - \u201cThe narcissist is really operating with different rules, there's a different playbook. And it's important to recognize that and be aware of that to protect ourselves. It's a grieving process.\u201d\n[21:29] - "Children who grow up in narcissistic families have the same brain scan as war veterans."\nIf you really enjoyed this episode, we\u2019ve created a PDF that has all of the key information for you from the episode. Just go to the episode page at www.theaddictedmind.com\xa0to download it.\nSupporting Resources:\nJulie\u2019s website and blog: www.narcissistfamilyfiles.com\xa0\nBooks Mentioned:\xa0\nThe Narcissist In Your Life, Recognizing the Patterns and Learning to Break Free by Julie Hall\nThe Narcissistic Family: Diagnosis and Treatment by Robert M. Pressman and Stephanie Donaldson-Pressman\nEpisode Credits\nIf you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.\nLearn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices