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b'On today\\u2019s episode, Duane talks with Justin B. Long about his journey through childhood trauma and how he tried to escape it through alcoholism. We discuss the traps of toxic masculinity, the idea that, as men, we can\'t share our feelings. We can\'t be vulnerable. We should be stoic at all times. In the episode, you\\u2019ll learn how that idea prevents us from being able to heal from our past wounds. Justin shares his story of hope and healing for everyone else out there who\'s struggling with the same issues.\\xa0\\nJustin is the author of The Righteous Rage of a Ten-Year-Old Boy: A Journey of Self-Discovery. In his book, he talks about uncovering our deeper feelings by addressing childhood events and traumas and changing how our emotions are tied to those memories. Justin has poured his deepest, darkest secrets into the book. As he pointed out, the more sunshine gets on those secrets, the less power they have over him.\\xa0\\xa0\\nAs he was trying to recover from alcoholism in his mid-30\'s, Justin had to go back to the beginning of time to understand what drove him to alcoholism. Justin grew up with two very emotionally dysfunctional parents: his dad was a workaholic and a rageaholic and his mom was deep into extreme religiosity and hoped that God would solve her emotional challenges. He found himself in the wrong place at the wrong time. His parents didn\'t have any emotional tools to support him or help him. Therefore, he grew up in an unhealthy environment. The way his dad treated him taught him that he was a failure no matter what he did.\\xa0\\nFeeling unworthy, uncomfortable, and untrusting, Justin turned to books as a way to escape reality. Then, as he got older, he discovered alcohol. It made him feel good about himself and he felt accepted for the first time in his life. So, alcohol became his tool to feel good about himself. Justin didn\\u2019t realize that it wasn\\u2019t a solution or that it was just a band-aid. However, like all external things, it had diminishing returns over time. It worked less and less until it stopped working altogether.\\nIn this episode, you will hear:\\n\\nJustin\\u2019s childhood trauma\\n\\nWhat it was like to not know how to handle his feelings\\xa0\\n\\nHow covering up feelings of shame and guilt through drinking became a cycle\\n\\nHow he changed his perspective from being a failure to being okay\\n\\nHow a recovery meeting became the first pinprick that showed him reality\\n\\nWhat his righteous rage looked like and how letting it go allowed him to achieve true freedom\\n\\nWhat happens when your pain is greater than your fear\\n\\nWhy it\\u2019s okay to feel your feelings\\n\\nJustin\\u2019s motivation to put his book out there\\n\\nKey Quotes:\\n[09:21] - "My biggest problem that made me decide I had to quit drinking was that the more I got drunk around other people, the more I misbehaved and just couldn\'t seem to control myself."\\n[13:15] - \\u201cEverything that I thought I knew about myself to be true was not true. And I get to rewrite that story."\\n[16:12] - "In your formative years, you take everything from around you, and you believe that to be true."\\n[18:33] - \\u201cTrue freedom comes in moving past that and letting go of that rage, even if it\'s justified.\\u201d\\n[21:02] - \\u201cThe pain has to get greater than the fear. And that\'s how it was for me. It hurt bad enough that I was willing to step into the fear."\\n[22:14] - \\u201cI\'m trying to learn how to feel the feelings and be okay with them. And sometimes it hurts, but I\'ve learned that that\'s okay, too. It\'s part of it.\\u201d\\n[25:17] - \\u201cThe more sunshine gets on those secrets, the less power they have over me.\\u201d\\nSupporting Resources:\\nThe Righteous Rage of a Ten-Year-Old Boy: A Journey of Self-Discovery\\nEpisode Credits\\nIf you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.\\nFind out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com\\nLearn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices'