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b'On today\\u2019s episode of\\xa0The Addicted Mind Podcast,\\xa0Duane talks with author Benjamin Hardy about his personal experience with addiction and the chaos that comes along with it. Benjamin describes the process overcoming his own addictions involved going through a \\u201credemptive process,\\u201d which involved forgiving his father and rebuilding the relationship there. With trauma, you\\u2019re always looking in the rear-view mirror, but you need to make meaning going forward. Meaning is not going to strike you\\u2014you have to make it yourself. The beauty of this is that you can change the meaning of your past, Benjamin says. It\\u2019s key to have empathy for your old self.\\xa0\\xa0\\nBenjamin also talks about how writing about your trauma can really help. Turning away from the past, you can have hope for the future. Without a hope for the future, Benjamin says, the present becomes meaningless. You can also\\xa0choose\\xa0to ascribe a meaning to your past. We call it \\u201cmeaning-making,\\u201d Benjamin says. Part of becoming emotionally-developed includes this idea of choosing the meaning of your past.\\nHe shares a story about how you can actively work to a solution for something that didn\\u2019t go exactly how you planned instead of snapping to a quick decision. You can choose to frame it in a new way instead of being defined by a failure. Choosing the meaning going forward can change how you store that forever. In his story, Benjamin points to the fact that he was vulnerable enough to share his feelings with the people in question as part of the process.\\nMoving onto his book, Benjamin unpacks the idea that your personality is going to change, and that you have the power to choose who you want to be in the future. Your personality is just how you consistently show up. It\\u2019s crucial to have your identity based on who you actually want to be in the future. The same courage that moves you to say \\u201cI need help\\u201d is the courage it takes to tell people who you want to be in the future. It takes courage, as Benjamin says, because it\\u2019s uncertain. You\\u2019ll realize you might be rejected, but that you also need to do some \\u201crejecting\\u201d to get you where you ultimately want to be. When you are open and honest, nothing is hiding anymore.\\xa0\\nKey quotes:\\n05:05 \\u2014\\xa0\\u201cThere\\u2019s capital \\u2018T\\u2019 trauma and lowercase \\u2018t\\u2019 trauma.\\u201d\\n07:55 \\u2014\\xa0\\u201cWhile I was running, I think I was subconsciously building confidence and thinking about my future.\\u201d\\n09:25 \\u2014\\xa0\\u201cMemory is not objective; it\\u2019s more of a set of meanings we\\u2019ve given.\\u201d\\n12:40 \\u2014\\xa0\\u201dYou\\u2019re a normal person even though you\\u2019ve made mistakes\\u2014and by the way, we\\u2019ve all made mistakes.\\u201d\\n16:45 \\u2014\\xa0\\u201cWe get stuck remembering the past rather than imagining the future.\\u201d\\n29:45 \\u2014\\xa0\\u201cYou shorten the refractory period by taking action.\\u201d\\n33:30 \\u2014 \\u201cIdentity and personality are two different things.\\u201d\\n36:50 \\u2014\\xa0\\u201cWho you want to be is part of your true self.\\u201d\\n38:30 \\u2014 \\u201cWe\\u2019re more likely to believe the stories we tell people about who we are.\\u201d\\n41:15 \\u2014 \\u201cThere is potential for you to look back at this thing you\\u2019re going through and be grateful.\\u201d\\nSupporting Resources:\\nCheck out Benjamin\\u2019s website at\\xa0https://benjaminhardy.com\\nEPISODE CREDITS: \\nIf you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.\\nFind out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com\\nLearn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices'