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b"We have to work and deal with our internal and early trauma. This can be more difficult to see and process without a reliable, trustworthy \\u201cother\\u201d in our lives. Sometimes it even takes an expert who can walk us through that journey in order for us to get to that safe space for healing and recovery.\\nToday, Duane talks with Andrew Susskind about his book, It's Not About the Sex: Moving from Isolation to Intimacy after Sexual Addiction. They go into depth about attachment, emotional regulation, the need for reliable people to heal your traumatic wounds, and how we can do that when we're in recovery and still struggling with internal chaos.\\xa0\\xa0\\nAndrew is a licensed clinical social worker, a Somatic Experiencing practitioner, a Brainspotting practitioner, and a certified group psychotherapist. The book is Andrew's passion project where he wrote about themes that have been on his mind for three decades now. Since then, so much has changed in the mental health field as well as the addiction and trauma world. Andrew\\u2019s book reflects many of those changes.\\xa0\\nAndrew not only leans on the experiences of his clients but on his personal experience as well. In 1994, Andrew went to his first SCA meeting, which stands for Sexual Compulsives Anonymous. In the therapy room, he noticed that people were learning how to stop their addictive behaviors. However, that's just the starting gate. His book covers some themes and different areas of healing that can happen beyond stopping destructive behavior.\\nIn this episode, you will hear:\\n\\nSomatic Experiencing and Brainspotting\\n\\nThe mechanism behind our nervous system regulation\\n\\nThe concept of upregulation vs. downregulation\\n\\nWhy it\\u2019s not just about sex\\n\\nHaving reliable relationships as a platform for healing\\n\\nKey Quotes:\\n[06:57] - \\u201cSomatic Experiencing and Brainspotting are both trauma healing modalities that focus on Nervous System regulation.\\u201d\\n[07:40] - \\u201cOne of the keys to regulating the nervous system is knowing when we're dysregulated.\\u201d\\n[08:29] - \\u201cSomeone who feels most comfortable in their skin feels calm, peaceful, grounded, and hopefully feels resourceful, resilient, and buoyant.\\u201d\\n[11:51] - \\u201cEven though it looks like compulsive sexual behavior, on the surface, once we scratch the surface, it's really about broken-heartedness.\\u201d\\n[14:20] - \\u201cWhen someone is trying to regulate themselves, it's actually an attempt to feel better.\\u201d\\n[17:49] - \\u201cIf you scratch the surface on anyone who's sexually compulsive, you're going to find some kind of avoidant attachment within that.\\u201d\\n[23:08] - \\u201cIf we're connected within and to one another, and to something greater than ourselves, that's going to create a platform for healing.\\u201d\\nSubscribe and Review\\nHave you subscribed to our podcast? We\\u2019d love for you to subscribe if you haven\\u2019t yet.\\xa0\\nWe\\u2019d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select \\u201cRatings and Reviews\\u201d and \\u201cWrite a Review\\u201d then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast.\\nIf you really enjoyed this episode, we\\u2019ve created a PDF that has all of the key information for you from the episode. Just go to the episode page at www.theaddictedmind.com\\xa0to download it.\\nSupporting Resources:\\nwww.westsidetherapist.com\\nIt's Not About the Sex: Moving from Isolation to Intimacy after Sexual Addiction by Andrew Susskind\\xa0\\nwww.Brainspotting.com\\xa0\\xa0\\nEpisode Credits\\nIf you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.\\nHe helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.\\nFind out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com\\n\\n\\nSupport this podcast at \\u2014 https://redcircle.com/the-addicted-mind-podcast/donations\\nLearn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices"