The Final Sanction - We've gone full pubes

Published: May 4, 2020, 9:24 p.m.

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WWIII is averted by sending two men to do single combat - one who just got beat up and another who is one mean gardener. It's about as dumb of a movie as ever been created and now we gift it to you.

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While The Final Sanction has some flash in the pan moments that have similarities to the masterpiece Deadly Prey it's a film that suffers from being dreadfully slow. Everything takes way too long - think Birdemic. Sadly, it misses its chance to be an instant stinker classic (because it's so stupid) and falls into the it's just ok category.

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It also needs disclaimed that if you want to have any clue what's going on, then you'd best be able to speak William Smith, who delivers most of the exposition in a horrendous Russian accent stacked ontop his usual gravel voice. So expect to have no idea what is happening. Eventually, you'll piece things together and realize how unbelievably unthoughtout this plot is.

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While it's a bit of a chore in places (due to the pacing), this is still a do if you've never seen it. It's absolutely one of the dumbest movie we've reviewed. Put some usual Ted Prior business, Z'Dar's chin, freezeframe credits, and assorted nonsense along the way and it's still a David A. Prior movie. Enjoy with riffers!

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