Gymkata - Don't let Trump watch this

Published: Feb. 7, 2017, 1:26 a.m.

b'USA Gold Medal magnet, Kurt Thomas, stars as John Cabot, a USA Gold Medal magnet/super secret agent/diplomat to strange lands. So he solo invades Parmistan, an absolutely insane country, to play "The Game" to get a satellite substation. Well that makes perfect sense!\\r\\nGymkata is serious shenanigans. It could be argued that it\'s the most bonkers movie we\'ve reviewed and definitely the most poorly thought out. While most might focus on the unawesome martial art that combines gymnastics and karate (which puts it in the Streaming Do\'s and Don\'ts realm) the country of Parmistan is our focus. Parmistan is impossible. It can\'t work. How does diplomacy work? Do they have foreign trade? Is their military only made of ninja or are they more like the secret police? Is there a system of government besides the Khan? I personally believe that someone, probably Pakistan, would have bombed Parmistan back into the Stone Age, but Parmistan never got out of the Stone Age so I guess bomb them back to the times of the dinosaurs (they may also have dinosaurs).\\r\\nThis is a really terrible movie. Sure, it\'s fun. But not fun in the usual manner. Take Megaforce for example. It\'s really bad but it\'s awesome. The action is awesome, the vehicles are awesome, the bad guy\'s awesome. It drips awesome. But Gymkata is the opposite. When Kurt Thomas fights guys using his special style it\'s quite not awesome. It\'s laughable at how dump it looks. If a child pretends to fight with Gymkata with their friends in the backyard, they are going to get beat up. It\'s a one way ticket to Bullytown.\\r\\nThis is a so bad it\'s amazing material. SOOOOO bad. Great time.'