Friday the 13th V - WTF is this?

Published: Oct. 30, 2017, 10:34 p.m.

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We wrap up our Spooktober with a staple from a staple franchise and one of the strangest big box office horror films ever made. This is just a strange film starring "Jason" with lots of head choppins, boobs and a cast of some pretty unusual characters.

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So Jason V is one weird film and frankly astounds that it ever frightened anyone...even children. It\'s seriously gentle in its horror, the plot is not frightening, Jason is not intimidating, and the gore is pretty mild. The MPAA really didn\'t help out this film at all as it\'s seriously cut down.

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None of it lines up, of course, with any one who cares about continuity or character motivations. The killer doesn\'t know how revenge works. The hero doesn\'t know how idolatry works. The film-makers don\'t know how enchiladas work. It\'s stunny how little anything works.

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BUUUUTTT....that\'s not why you come to a Jason movie, right? You come for the gore and boobs. Well there\'s boobs in this one...but the gore is incredibly mild. Most of the deaths occur off-screen and there are only a couple not-worthy ones that still fail to execute fully. So its disappointing there.

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However, there\'s still enough here that isn\'t part of the Jason staples to show up for. The entire plot and setting is super weird. The cast of characters is simply mind-bending and the single greatest scene in the Friday franchise appears here...in a metal shitbox.

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Not great, but still a good revisit.

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