Driven - Drove us to diarrheatown

Published: Oct. 5, 2015, 10:31 p.m.

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Stallone writes a screenplay that is about three things he has no working knowledge of; 1) Racing, 2) Relationships, 3) Story. It is quite possibly the worst screenplay ever written. Manos: The Hands of Fate has a lot more story than 2001\'s Driven. If anyone can tell us what the story is, please let us know.

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Why this movie was made is vexing. What the inspiration was for Stallone to write this film is a mystery for the ages. He clearly has little to no interest in auto racing because he never shows any knowledge of how it works or even simple common sense regarding it. He appears to know that cars can go fast and that people sometimes try to see how fast they can go around a track but that\'s about it. Burt Reynold\'s character owns a race team but continually tries to sabotage his driver because he\'s just not good enough despite the fact that he\'s Number 1 in the world. Kip Pardue\'s character can\'t handle posing for photos and giving press conferences despite the fact that he\'s a rolling advertisement for his sponsors. The only thing that Stallone\'s character appears to do in the film is make people happy. Wow.

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This one is just too crappy and annoying for us. There is probably a market of bad movie fans that could enjoy this one but the complete lack of anything happening in this film keeps us from giving is a watchable review. It sucks. 

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Individual Ratings:

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Over the top action:2-star
Cheesy effects:1-star
Horrendous acting:4-star
Laugh-out-loud-ability:2-star
Ridiculous stunts:0-star
Gratuitous nudity:0-star
Memorable one-liners:1-star

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Overall Ratings:

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Good Movie Quality: 3-star
Bad Movie Quality:3-star

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