Death, Sex & Money: I Was Afraid of Losing Myself to Motherhood. I Found Myself Instead.
Elissa Strauss always knew she wanted to be a mother, but she also knew she didn\u2019t want motherhood to take over her personality.\xa0After all, she had spent years as a blogger making fun of anyone who took motherhood too seriously. She bemoaned the natural birth movement and people who made \u201cmom friends.\u201d\nThen Elissa had a son, and her view of caretaking started to shift. \u201cI had put so much energy into figuring out how not to lose myself to caregiving,\u201d Elissa writes in her new book, \u201cthat I completely ignored the possibility that I might, in fact, find some of myself there.\u201d In this episode, Anna and Elissa talk about why it feels uncool to talk about liking motherhood, the ways caretaking can take from us, but also how it can fill us up and engender \u201cmoral transformation.\u201d Plus, the economics of care, and what really valuing care in society would look like.\xa0\nElissa\u2019s book is called When You Care: the Unexpected Magic of Caring for Others. She also wrote a piece last month in Slate called \u201cIt\u2019s Weird Times to Be a Happy Mother.\u201d\xa0\xa0\nAre you a paid caregiver? We want to hear from you for a future listener episode. Tell us some things you\u2019ve taken away from the experience \u2013 wild stories, observations about class, lessons about the way you want your own loved ones to be cared for. Send us your thoughts and stories at deathsexmoney@slate.com.\xa0\nDeath, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus.\nAnd if you\u2019re new to the show, welcome. We\u2019re so glad you\u2019re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna\u2019s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com.\nLearn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices