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I had the honor of speaking at an event for moms last week.\xa0My talk was \u201cHow to Play Bigger in Life without Asking Permission.\u201d\xa0After my talk, there was time for Q&A and the question folks kept circling back to was, \u201cHow do I start to speak up so I can play a bigger game?\u201d\xa0\xa0\n\nA number of attendees noted they were so in the habit of not speaking up that they didn\u2019t know where or how to start using their voices.\xa0\xa0\n\nBecause women have been socialized to stay small and quiet, we often have to really make a concerted effort to actually use our voices.\xa0\xa0\n\nI gave these women three steps to start practicing speaking up:\n\n\nPractice stating your preferences out loud\xa0\n\nPractice stating your needs out loud\n\nPractice sharing opposing opinions in neutral ways\xa0\n\n\nThese steps are intended to be practiced over time, in this order.\xa0Start out with low risk/low exposure steps.\xa0The stakes are typically pretty low when you\u2019re stating a preference: \u201cI prefer pepperoni pizza to sausage & mushroom.\u201d\xa0Or, \u201cI would prefer to watch Movie ABC vs Movie XYZ this evening.\u201d\n\nOnce you\u2019ve practiced this a few times, try to share a need with a loved one: \u201cI need some time to myself, so I\u2019m going to take myself to lunch and a movie this weekend.\u201d\xa0Practice this a few times.\xa0\xa0\n\nOnce you\u2019ve practiced #1 and #2 over time, you can move to higher exposure speaking up - where the risks and stakes are higher.\xa0This is where you can start to practice sharing an opposing opinion in a neutral way, \u201cThank you for sharing your opinion/experience.\xa0That hasn\u2019t been my experience.\u201d\xa0Or, \u201cThank you for sharing your opinion/experience.\xa0I see it differently.\u201d\xa0Make sure to listen in to the episode to learn how to do #3 safely, this part is important!\n\nListen in to learn more about how to practice speaking up - in order to get what you want and, ultimately, in order to impact the world.\xa0\n\nPlease find our sponsor information here: shamelessmom.com/sponsor/\nLearn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices