55: IVF: The End
This is easily the most difficult episode I have recorded.\xa0\n\xa0\nI knew there was a strong chance that IVF would end without a baby.\xa0In fact, I planned for it.\xa0I planned to be relieved (I don\u2019t have to be pregnant! I don\u2019t have to nurse! I don\u2019t have to be an exhausted hot mess!)\xa0I planned to be excited (Let\u2019s book a European vacation!)\xa0\n\xa0\nI did not plan to feel really, really sad.\xa0\n\xa0\nWe experienced a lot of sadness when it took so long to get pregnant with Vinnie 5 years ago.\xa0It felt constant.\xa0\n\xa0\nThis is different.\xa0\n\xa0\nIt feels final.\n\xa0\nAnd so permanent.\xa0\n\xa0\nThere are things to be happy about with this outcome.\xa0There are things to be grateful for.\xa0But we\u2019re not there yet.\xa0\n\xa0\nWe\u2019ll get there.\xa0\n\xa0\nBut not today.\xa0And probably not for awhile.\xa0But we will be ok.\n\xa0\nHere\u2019s the thing\u2026 we won the lottery on September 23, 2012. We were given all we could have ever hoped for \u2013 a healthy, perfect baby.\xa0\n\xa0\nThat is enough.\xa0\n\xa0\nVinnie is more than enough.\xa0In every way.\xa0\n\xa0\nSo, from here we row our little family boat forward, one paddle at a time.\xa0\n\xa0\nThere will be some waves and things might feel a little topsy-turvy for awhile, but there will undoubtedly be amazing views, the best destinations, and all the love & laughter we could ever ask for.\xa0\n\xa0\nLearn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices