39: Mommy Wars
Recently, I have been asked repeatedly to do an episode on mommy judgment, specifically on moms who judge other moms. Let\u2019s just call this what it is - Mommy Wars.\xa0And please know \u2013 it\u2019s an ugly place for you. And it\u2019s damaging to your kids.\xa0\n\xa0\nI\u2019ll be honest, before I was a mom I sat in judgment of my mom friends.\xa0I noticed and quite comfortably critiqued:\n\nHow Johnny should could benefit from more time outs\n\nThe atrocity of little Susie\u2019s frequent hitting\n\nThe obvious problem that was Bobbie\u2019s french fry addiction\n\n\xa0\nThen, I had a kid.\n\xa0\nMy kid\u2019s behavior is not impacted at all by time outs.\xa0So we don\u2019t really use them much.\n\xa0\nLast week, my kid smacked me upside the head with a metal toy car and gave me a goose egg.\xa0The next day he kicked me in the mouth.\n\xa0\nOn any given Sunday, when we\u2019re out for brunch, you can find my kid eating a well balanced meal of bacon and French fries.\xa0\n\xa0\nSo, who am I to judge\u2026..\n\xa0\nI can no longer comfortably critique.\xa0\n\xa0\nI am IN. IT.\xa0\n\xa0\nOne of the quotes that is always, always close to my heart is, \u201cBe kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about.\u201d\n\xa0\nWhen a horrific accident happens involving a child, let\u2019s not judge.\xa0We do not know the story.\xa0We do not know the circumstances.\xa0And there is no reason to think you are a better mother than any other mother.\xa0\n\xa0\nI firmly believe we are all doing the very best we can.\xa0\n\xa0\nIt is easy to get caught up in community gossip or media mayhem over news stories involving kids.\xa0It\u2019s very easy and very comfortable, sadly, to stand on a holier-than-thou pedestal pointing out the short-comings of another mother.\xa0\n\xa0\nAnd all this does is continue to build walls between moms and walls between women.\xa0At it\u2019s best, it\u2019s fun gossip between moms.\xa0At it\u2019s worst, it\u2019s women discrediting and devaluing other women in front of their kids.\xa0\n\xa0\nLet\u2019s do our kids a favor and acknowledge that being a mommy is hard and we all do our best everyday.\xa0Sometimes things don\u2019t happen the way we want.\xa0Sometimes horrible things happen.\xa0In those moments, we have an opportunity to be kind and supportive and gentle.\xa0We have the chance to listen and learn and practice empathy.\xa0\n\xa0\nI\u2019m gonna screw up a lot as a mom.\xa0A lot.\xa0\n\xa0\nSo are you.\n\xa0\nIt\u2019s ok.\xa0\n\xa0\nI\u2019m here for you.\xa0And I hope you\u2019ll be there for me.\xa0\n\xa0\nThis is what I want my kid to see.\xa0\n\xa0\nLearn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices